I’m in love ooooooo I’m a believer


Last night I dipped myself in oil, covered myself in bread crumbs, and jumped into a deep fryer.

Ok so, not really, but that probably would result in my feeling LESS uncomfortable today than I do given last night’s festivities.

I derailed my Paleo train last night, and if I wasn’t a believer in the health benefits of that particular nutritional model before, I am now.

Long story short, I was invited to attend a Spring Training baseball game last night in a fabulous VIP suite where they had as much Corona and Stella as you could drink, and as many chicken fingers, mini sliders, smothered hot dogs jalapeno poppers and brownies as you could eat.

I have been following a pretty consistent 90/10 Paleo diet since the first of the year, and have been very strict about deep fried and sugar filled goodies.

Beer… well beer has been part of the 10%.

Last night I went into the event with good intentions.  I ate a salad before I left the house and had some leftover grilled chicken for when I got home and was actually hungry.  I gave myself a pep talk the whole way to the ballpark that I could stick with water and no one would judge me, we all have to work the next day and no one would think anything of it.

The whole walk to the suite I ignored the scent of popcorn and hot dogs thinking how unhealthy all the people standing in the lines at the concession stands must be.

And then I entered the suite and promptly fell of my high horse.

All I could smell was hot dogs and chicken fingers.  The work colleagues I was meeting there had their plates loaded up and were each holding a beer.  The gracious host remembered how much I like Corona and had one in my hand before I could even get thru my hellos.

My willpower fell right out the window.

Luckily, one absolutely beautiful thing I have learned over my Crossfit/Paleo journey of the last several months, is not to feel guilty about food.  I think so often in the past my “relationship” with food has been something that has caused a bad choice or two to go from bad to worse as I beat myself up about it.

I am past that.  I don’t feel “guilty” about one single greasy morsel.

I do, however, feel like crap today.  God’s honest truth, I weigh 8 POUNDS MORE  this morning than I did yesterday morning.  My fingers feel like sausages.  My wedding ring is too tight.

My “comfy” jeans are cutting into a fat roll that hasn’t shown its face in months.  My sinuses are going crazy, I have enough cream cheese covered mucous that I could probably say I have the flu and get sent home from work without question.

My joints hurt.

And on top of it all, I was 8 seconds/500 slower on the rower this morning and way weaker on my push jerks than I’ve been in months.

I’m positive someone is reading this right now and thinking that this is in my head and there is no way that one night of indulgence (ie eating CRAP) could have a negative side effect this extreme so quickly.  Perhaps there is even someone reading my side effects who believes that something like joint pain is unrelated to eating wheat and dairy.

To you I have to say only one thing, try it for yourself and make up your own mind.

I was adamantly against changing my diet for months, but once I did I realized near instant health and performance benefits.  While I’m human and still struggle (uh, see above), I am a true believer in Paleo and the changes it can make not only to my body, but to my health.  I FEEL better when I eliminate dairy, wheat and sugar from my diet.

And man let me tell ya, I feel like CRAP when I eat it.


Today was 13.4.

Did the usual warm up- we added in leg swings and burpees, both of which I’m glad to have back in the rotation.

Did some hamstring stretching mobility along with some core warm up for toes to bar.

This is the first of the Open WOD’s that I am not yet able to do Rx, so I scaled and got to work.


WOMEN – includes Masters Women up to 54 years old
Complete as many reps as possible in 7 minutes following the rep scheme below:
95 pound Clean and jerk, 3 reps
3 Toes-to-bar
95 pound Clean and jerk, 6 reps
6 Toes-to-bar
95 pound Clean and jerk, 9 reps
9 Toes-to-bar
95 pound Clean and jerk, 12 reps
12 Toes-to-bar
95 pound Clean and jerk, 15 reps
15 Toes-to-bar
95 pound Clean and jerk, 18 reps
18 Toes-to-bar…
This is a timed workout. If you complete the round of 18, go on to 21. If you complete 21, go on to 24, etc.

Score: 56 with 73 lbs and knees to elbows

Pretty darn happy about that.  Also, I decided on my new short-term goal… I want to Rx Grace.  I love love LOVE the clean and jerk movement and I feel like I “get” it.  I’m positive I could do 95 lbs at least once, and I’m even more positive that if I make a concerted effort to improve my efficiency on the lift (especially at getting under the jerk) I could Rx this within a few months.

Additionally, my “toes to bar” have improved massively in the past two weeks.  Between the kipping swings in the warm up and practicing, I’m getting much stronger at curling my hips up when I bring my knees up.  My toes are a solid foot closer to the bar than they were when I started working on this skill.  I think within another month I’m going to be able to do at least a few of these.



Warm Up:

Skill: Clean & Jerk

Spent some time working on speed and technique for 13.4 tomorrow.  Since I am not yet able to Rx either movement, I’m looking forward to having some fun with it scaled.

2×5 with training bar focus on speed and form

2×5 with 33lbs focus on using the clean catch as the dip drive for the overhead

WOD: Level I – 3 rounds for time/Level II – 4 rounds for time of,

400m Run
10 Deadlifts
20 Burpees

Time: 15:06 L1 with 63 on deadlifts and rowing instead of running

**should have used more weight

Things you shouldn’t have to say out loud

My degree is in “Communications.”  When attending the great Florida State University I, like many of my peers, didn’t actually know what I wanted to do when I grew up.  I took classes on everything from marketing and advertising to creative writing and *shudder* poetry.

Figure I always liked Boy Scouts, so I should adopt their motto and be prepared, right?

Given my tendency to be not particularly creative, and way too literal, let’s just say that poetry wasn’t really my strong suit.  Especially since  my illustrious professor in that class was a kind of crazy hippie who was the type to have breast fed her children until they were 15 or so, and we didn’t quite see eye to eye on the “beauty and love of the universe.”

But I still gave it my all.

I wish I still had some of the work that I created while in that class, I would absolutely post it here for your reading pleasure.  But because I do not, you will have to settle for the following anecdote instead.

After weeks of class learning about the different styles and formats of poetry, and completing the weekly assignments with my usual flair and pizazz (aka curse words and sarcasm) we had moved on to writing in whatever style we most liked, but we had to write about a specific theme.

One week, we were assigned love.  (You have to say that all high pitched and flutter your eyelashes when you do, it’s evidently what stupid idiots do when they REALLY believe in it)

Now I’m not some haggard old maid with 75 cats (though there is nothing wrong with that), I believe in and appreciate healthy relationships.  I buy the whole love concept, though I kind of despise the Hollywood version of it.  And at that time in my life, love was something that I probably understood even less than I do today after 8 years of marriage.

So I wrote a poem about masturbation.

Hey, it’s self-love, that counts, right?

It wasn’t outright raunchy, more like veiled language that subtly got the point across until the very end where I know for a fact I used the term “spank bank.”  I think that was probably a dead giveaway for everyone in the room.

Except the professor.

I will never forget her reading my poem aloud for the class of 40 or so students in its entirety and then asking, completely clueless, “What’s a spank bank?”

Not a definition I ever in a million years thought I would have to provide aloud.

And that ladies and gentleman was the day I gave up my career dreams as a Hallmark greeting card author.  Leave that to the people with an actual heart and not a twisted mind.

The wind blows. <—See what I did there?


On days that the wind is gusting faster than I can usually cycle, I really consider not riding.  With gusts at 20 mph, it really doesn’t matter if I have the best blocker in the pack, within 5 minutes of pedaling into it I’m ready to chop off one of my legs so I have an excuse to stop without looking like a wuss.

Clearly, it’s been a breezy few days here in Southwest Florida.

The work team went out for a ride on Monday, and it was brutal.  I’ve been getting stronger on the bike and had worked my way up to staying with the group for at least most of the sufferfest (or as they like to call it “recovery ride), but Monday, I was dropped like a sack of potatoes just a few miles in.  The wind was brutal BEFORE I got dropped, but as I watched the wheel in front of me slowly slip away, it was seconds before those inches were feet because of the huge gusts and lack of draft slapping me in my face.

Luckily, we’re a “no man left behind” kind of group, so one of the fast guys came back and got me and pulled me through the rest of the ride.  I still hope that he didn’t hear the grizzly bear-esque noises that were escaping me every 30 seconds or so trying to keep up with his “easy” pace.

Tonight is another scheduled ride, this one at twice the distance of Monday and with a larger group, but the wind is still conspiring against me.

Part of me wants to say “screw it,” and nurse my ego and beer instead of put up with the physical and psychological abuse of pedaling with all my might and only managing to go 9 miles per hour.  When turtles come screaming by you, you know it’s a windy day on your bike.

But another part of me, this new part that has emerged recently, is giving myself a minute by minute pep talk.  It sounds something like this:

You can DO this.

It never gets easier, you just go faster, you know that.

This is a planned workout, you need to do this.

Besides, there’s beer in it at the end, and you won’t have to feel guilty.

Suck it up buttercup.

Don’t be a pussy.

You got this.

Does it suck?  Good, you’re doing it right.

That other voice, that’s is shouting and arguing loudly with this one, doesn’t really matter… because in the end I know this one will win.

What can I say?  I WANT that beer.


Warm Up

SWOD: Good Mornings

Warm Up: 8 with the bar @33

3×8 @53

Never done these with weight before.  They felt… odd.  I get the concept, teaching us to load our hamstrings correctly when executing lifts, but I felt like I was using my lower back too much.  Coach said it looked good, so I just didn’t add any additional weight.

12 minute AMRAP
30 push ups
40 box jumps
50 kb swings
60 db thrusters

Score: 146 with 36lb kb and 20 lb dumbells

This WOD handed my ass to me on a platter.  I wish there was a KB somewhere between the orange (25) and white (36) that I could use.  I want to Rx these types of WOD’s, but that 36 lber is so freaking heavy.  I actually got a little too excited on one of the reps and extended too far over head and had to drop the kb behind me.  Whoops.

Luckily no one was hurt.

Obviously, didn’t even come close to making it thru the thrusters.

Things I would worry about if I were in the CIA…


Did you know that when you undergo a lie detector test they actually put a censor on your bum that measures your sphincter clench factor?

I guess some people clench up when they’re lying.

So knowing that fact, here’s a question.

What happens if you’re a week and a half into the Whole 30 and farts are falling from you without warning or apology and you go into a lie detector test?

Obviously, you’re in a small confined space for an unspecified amount of time, you’re going to want to avoid letting one rip.

Additionally, if you’re trying to make a good impression, giving someone a massive version of a Dutch oven shouldn’t be high on your list of things to do.

But if you hoooolllddddd ittttt… will the powers that be think you’re lying?

Not that I’m going into a lie detector test any time soon.

But with my recently dietary changes I am actively trying not to toot at pretty much any given moment, and yes kids, THESE are the thoughts that pass thru my mind.


Warm Up

SWOD: Snatch

Sets x2
Did all @ 33 lbs/ 8 sets (I think)

Focus on form, getting it right at the bottom of the squat and full extension thru the hip.  I’m still pulling early and having to come forward to the bar, which means almost falling on my face on half of my attempts.


5 Rounds for Time
7 Toes to Bar
12 Sit Ups

Time: 8:16 with 35 lbs and knees to elbowsish

A Tapeworm is NOT the Answer


One of the guys I work with has been out of work for darn near 3 weeks with pneumonia.  He’s back in the office today and my first thought when I saw him was, “man, I want pneumonia.  He looks like he lost 20 lbs in three weeks.”

That, my friends, is not a healthy mindset.

And yet, it was still a conscious and not at all sarcastic thought that crossed my mind.

Let’s face it, I’ve got issues.

Like so many women in the world, I don’t always love my body.  Over the course of my life I’ve crash dieted and gained the weight back over and over again.  I’ve worked towards a body type I never actually thought I would achieve, and loved the compliments along the way about how much weight I had lost and how great I looked.

Even when I exercised good judgment, and lost body fat and weight in healthy ways, for me it was never about how fast I could run a mile or how much weight I could lift, it was about the number on the scale and how it defined me.

The worst part is, I know I’m not alone.

When I began Crossfit, and the unexpected journey that accompanied it, I was just trying to lose weight.  It wasn’t about a lifestyle change (which is probably why I almost told the coach to eff off when he gently pointed out that cupcakes, wine and ice cream weren’t doing me any favors), but it was another in a long line of things I would “try” to achieve my dream body… whatever that might look like.

Six months later and I can honestly say, I’ve come SO far.

I don’t have a number on the scale that I’m trying to reach.  I thought I did for a long time, but recently I’ve realized that the number will have a lot more to do with hitting performance goals than it will with the way I look physically.  I don’t care what I weigh, nor does it really matter to me where I end up.  I care that someday I will be able to get my toes to that darn bar, and pull my face over it.

I eat when I’m hungry and (usually) don’t when I’m not.  My “relationship,” if you will, with food continues to evolve, but I understand it now better than ever.  That doesn’t mean I’m perfect 100% of the time, but I do recognize when I’m eating out of something other than hunger, and I try to correct that behavior.

Probably most importantly for me, I (again usually) don’t play the “I want to look like her” game that for so many years I was guilty of.  A great example, we have a female coach at my box who has literally the BEST legs I’ve ever seen.  To the point I want to like, touch them, just to make sure they’re real.  While I’m envious of her amazing quads and hammys, I don’t want them.  I want MINE to be as lean and strong as I can make them.  I understand her body is not my body.  I understand how hard she works for her physique, and recognize with the same work, dedication, and diligence in my diet, I could have those types of results for ME.

So with all this self-discovery, why did I wish for a case of pneumonia this morning?

Well, because like most of us, I am a work in progress.

To me, the most important step for me every single day is to identify things that I could change to inch myself along this journey.  Today, wishing for some version of the bubonic plague is not a step forward… but realizing that still, after all my growth, I am hoping for a fast easy way to achieve my goals, is an important thing to recognize.

And then smack that silly thought right out of my head.  Maybe we’ll do wall balls again tomorrow and I can whap myself in the face a few more times and get my head right.

Happy Monday friends.


SWOD: Push Press


Warm Up: 10 w/the bar @33
Set 1: 1×3 @ 53
Set 2: 1×3 @ 63
Set 3: 1×3 @ 63
Set 4: 1×3 @ 73
Set 5: 1×3 @ 83

The last set I got two in and then failed the 3rd attempt twice.  Had to re-rack the bar to get the third rep.  I was pleased with that weight though, that was my max the last time we did this rep scheme as well… and at that time my shoulders weren’t still tiered from all those darn wall balls.

Lifting my arms over my head still hurts a bit.  You would think 3 days would be enough recovery, no?

WOD: 3 rounds for total reps of:

40 seconds of Med Ball Transfers
Rest 20 seconds
40 seconds of Pull Ups (Strict RX+) (I did ring rows)
Rest 20 seconds
40 seconds of One Arm alternating DB Power Snatch
Rest 20 seconds
40 seconds of Mountain Climbers
Rest 20 seconds

Score: ?

As I go to post this, I can’t remember my score that I wrote on the board this morning.  Though in all honesty, I don’t think the score was right.  We got a late start on the WOD and it was 7 after by the time we were done, which meant unless I went running out the door immediately I would be late for work.  So I did a quick ad and I’m pretty sure I forgot some reps somewhere… or forgot to carry the 2… math isn’t exactly my strong suit.

Either way, this was a fun little WOD.  I like the tabata style with the built in rest.

I however, DESPISE mountain climbers.  I would rather do burpees.