Meow meow meow meow…

jerk

I’m a scaredy cat.  Lots of things intimidate me, and traditionally this has meant that I just don’t do them.  A few months back one of the Crossfit coaches challenged us to set three goals.  One goal should be around a strength, to get stronger at something we’re strong at.  One goal should be around a weakness, to improve upon that skill.  Then one goal was to be about something that scared us.  I had no problem with goal one, goal two was easy though my choices were plentiful, but goal three I was really stuck on.

Why you ask?  Because freaking half of Crossfit scares me.

I’m afraid of heights.  So pull ups make me crap my pants.

I hate being inverted.  Handstands, wall walks, heck even that inchworm maneuver make me sweat like a lumberjack in the middle of a hard chop.

I’m the clumsiest person in the world, so the fear of face planting is ever prevalent, making things like box jumps or god forbid box jump OVERS something that terrifies me.

More than all of that, I have an uncontrollable fear of failure.  I was the fat kid in gym class.  I was the girl who couldn’t catch a ball, or even make contact during kickball.  I loathed dodgeball because I was an enormous target with no depth perception, and I remember actually working to get out as quickly as possible so that I wouldn’t have to play.

As a terrified type A over achieving personality, Crossfit was kind of an unlikely fit for me.

But after reading our gym motto, “Leave your ego at the door and your sweat on the floor,” I gave it a chance.  Obviously, I’m glad I did.  Inside those walls, I’m not afraid to fail.  By just being there, I have already succeeded.

In the month of February, I pushed myself even further outside of my comfort zone.  February was the month for conquering fears.  I rode with a group for the first time and didn’t die or cause anyone to kill themselves.  I shot a gun for the first time, and ended up taking a course, buying one, and now go to the range regularly.  I graduated from step ups to box jumps and barely feel the jitters anymore while standing in front of the box.

It was terrifying.  It was humbling.  But more than that, it was rewarding.

A new month means new goals, new challenges, and new things that will simply no longer scare me.  My coach is a big believer in challenging yourself and benchmarking against others, so I signed up for the Crossfit Open.  Why not?  It’s possible that I won’t be able to do any of the workouts without scaling them, but I won’t let that fear stop me from at least trying.  And hey, maybe I’ll accomplish something tomorrow that scared me yesterday because of that extra push.

What are you going to do this month that scares you?

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4 thoughts on “Meow meow meow meow…

  1. awesome job signing up for the Open. I’m only a month into my CrossFit life so didn’t think it would be a good idea. I look forward to reading about how you do.

    And ALL of CrossFit scares the crap out of me!

    • Congrats on drinking the kool-aid! I remember when I was one month in, I still couldn’t figure out half the lifts to save my life and regularly ended up on my butt during snatches. Keep at it, and definately tune into the games. They are the most inspiring thing I’ve ever seen!

  2. Congrats on signing up for the Open! I did too and I’m scared out of my pants for what will be announced on Wednesday!

    • Thanks! Same to you! I’m actually pretty calm about it, but I think it’s in large part because I know I likely won’t be able to Rx all the workouts. That said, if we have to do 7 freaking minutes of burpees again I might just riot.

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