Things I would worry about if I were in the CIA…


Did you know that when you undergo a lie detector test they actually put a censor on your bum that measures your sphincter clench factor?

I guess some people clench up when they’re lying.

So knowing that fact, here’s a question.

What happens if you’re a week and a half into the Whole 30 and farts are falling from you without warning or apology and you go into a lie detector test?

Obviously, you’re in a small confined space for an unspecified amount of time, you’re going to want to avoid letting one rip.

Additionally, if you’re trying to make a good impression, giving someone a massive version of a Dutch oven shouldn’t be high on your list of things to do.

But if you hoooolllddddd ittttt… will the powers that be think you’re lying?

Not that I’m going into a lie detector test any time soon.

But with my recently dietary changes I am actively trying not to toot at pretty much any given moment, and yes kids, THESE are the thoughts that pass thru my mind.


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