I couldn’t make these up if I tried

fitness plan

Ah the gym.  Not Crossfit mind you, but the fully air conditioned, shiny equiptmented, spin class, cardio bunny laden gym.  How I have missed thee.

As anyone following my blog knows, I had a back injury about a week ago that has me sidelined from Crossfit for a bit.  About the time this happened I decided that I wanted to use my new strength and fitness to start doing something that once really enjoyed, training and racing triathlons.

Enter the gym.  Believe it or not, to do a triathlon you actually have to train yourself to swim from time to time.  Shocking, I know.

And the easiest place to do that, yes even living in Florida, is at the gym.

So I joined one.

Yesterday was my first day back after nearly a year out of that setting.  In 30 minutes I got more than I bargained for by way of hilarious stories.  I will share a few here for your reading pleasure.

Act One:

Walking into the gym from the parking lot I notice a tiny, beautiful, fully made up girl walk by.  Using her gazelle like speed she also passed the three young men in front of me and entered the building before them.  Two of the three were so busy admiring what was admittedly a fantastic rear view that they walked into the glass front door of the building without opening it.


Act Two:

Running on the treadmill overlooking the free weight area where a different group of young men are lifting weights.   I watch in both horror and awe as one picks up a dumbbell, stands sideways to the mirror, and proceeds to do curls while staring intently at himself.

If he had leaned down and kissed his bicep I probably would have fallen off the treadmill laughing.

Act Three:

In the locker room following my swim and shower, I’m getting dressed.  While I’m not exactly modest, I do try to spend the smallest amount of time possible giving everyone the full monty out of respect for their retinas.

Enter SuperCougar who has also just emerged from the shower.  I notice two things immediately.  One, she has managed to retain her full face of makeup and complete hairstyle even after having just showered.  Two, evidently she prefers to air dry.

She continued her air drying the entire time it took me to get dressed, apply deodorant, brush my hair, and put on my sneakers.

At which point I ran trying not to scream out of the locker room.


I miss Crossfit, but in the meantime, at least I don’t have to worry about entertainment opportunities while rehabbing my back at my local globogym.


7 thoughts on “I couldn’t make these up if I tried

  1. Apparently, those same folks travel to where I live and attend every gym I’ve ever been in as well…… you forgot the creepy old guy on the cardio equipment with the terry cloth shorts and matching sweat bands though……

    Thanks for the laugh, needed that this morning…..bad.

  2. Act 2 cracked me up! Sometimes it’s like watching a really odd mating dance, staring at the weight section!

    1. Thanks! The good news is, this is going to give me a lot more blog material. It’s totally way more fun to make fun of people then to post about WOD’s and cycling. 🙂

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