Hello from the phlegm factory that is my life

Strep throat is a curious illness. Who would think that something that makes your throat feel like you’ve taken up a fun little side hobby of gargling battery acid would also cause this acid to come flying out of your butt at a rapid rate requiring you to install both a seat belt and a snow cone on your commode?

In my case, the best, and certainly most notable part, about my strep throat is that is just so happens to coincide with a large three day industry conference in which we are launching our newest product release. I just happen to be solely responsible for all of the marketing efforts around this release, as well as the entire sponsored portion of the conference, so my real life simply won’t let me be sick.

I wonder if I could get one of those face masks from a big designer?

“Oh this? No, this isn’t blocking my pressure washer powered germs from splattering you in the face and giving you a mucous factory of your own. This is Gucci.”

I think even if Wonder Woman let me borrow her lasso, I’m kind of screwed on this one kids.

2 thoughts on “Hello from the phlegm factory that is my life

  1. Oh man. I had to go to a conference last year with an all over itchy body rash, because some doctor gave me amoxicillin for what turned out to be mono, a combination which leaves you with an allergy to amoxicillin. It was fun explaining to everyone that I wasn’t a leper…

    1. Oh no! That’s awful. I just avoided contact with everyone. And since I’m in charge of the marketing, I got mini hand sanatizers to give away at our booth. It made me feel marginally better about spreading my germs across the nation.

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