If I had an extra hour in the day I wouldn’t spend it doing this

funny-angry-birds-anger-management

One of my many quirks is that I am the type of person who wants to be busy at all times.  I tend to take on nearly more than I can handle in every aspect of my life.  I love the feeling of always having something to do, and absolutely can not stand feeling bored.

As a result, I’m super productive, kind of spastic, and typically running 5 minutes behind consistently.

Like I said, it’s a quirk.

An amusing result of this quirk, however, is that there are a handful of things that just flat piss me off.  Because I’m certain that I’m not alone in the world, I’m sharing the top three with you here today in the hopes that someone somewhere will agree with me.

Things that me stabby that are totally weird and you will probably judge me for:

Having to take a crap. 

Ok, I admit, the actual ACT of pooping doesn’t bother me.  What bothers me about it is that it’s not your usual :30 seconds or less bathroom break.  There’s typically more involved.  Even if you wait until the last possible second when there’s a good chance you WON’T be able to hold it on the sprint to the restroom (which for the record I don’t recommend), there’s more required than a simple  go, wipe and wash your hands.

Whether it’s before I leave for work in the morning (thus making me late for work), or once I’m at work (making me pewp in public AND taking me away from work), it just irritates me that I have to spend time doing it.

Blowing my nose.

Here’s a fun fact about me.  Snot kind of skeeves me.  Actually, that’s not true.  MY snot kind of skeeves me.  Other people’s snot doesn’t bother me in the least.  Because of my snot phobia, I flat out will NOT blow my nose in public.  If I’m having a life or death situation where snot eradication is absolutely required or else it’s going to start dripping down my face all on its own, I have to find a dark hole to hide in (or a restroom) before I can even consider blowing my nose.

Once I start blowing, it’s a time consuming process.  I have to make sure all the snot is off my face.  Definitely need to make sure there are no bats in the cave.  And then check that again.  And then one more time for good measure because there is nothing weirder than being mesmerized by someone’s “dangler” when trying to look them in the eye and carry on a conversation.  So all in all, it’s a time consuming process, and man does it piss me off.

Shaving my legs… and the other bits. 

Actually, the legs aren’t that bad.  I’ve been doing that since I’ve been what… 13?  Its down to a science.  Since I’m skeeved by my own body hair (again, other peoples doesn’t bother me but mine does) I shave them most every day.  It’s something I’ve made time for.  However, any other bits that need to be shaved that may be more delicate are so SO time consuming.  Trust me kids, you only rush through that shave job one time.  Then, when you cut something that you only have one of you curse yourself for three days and take your time from there on out.

Obviously, I feel that the results are worth it, but man does it piss me off having to spend an extra 5 minutes in the shower to make sure everything is smooth, and still attached when I’m done.

So my followers, what do you think?  Am I nuts, or are you equally as perturbed when you have to SLOW DOWN for a minute to care for your body?

Truthfully, I blame my irritation on TV.  You never see Wonder Woman taking a break from saving the world to take a crap.

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