What not to do in public showers

clumsy

I never thought I would consider getting naked in the parking lot of my workplace.  Okay, so maybe it’s not exactly in the parking lot, it’s in a wooden enclosure off to the side, and it’s for a good reason.  My employer has recently installed an outdoor shower.

We’re a pretty active bunch around here, and in the cooler months a group of us cycle during lunch.  During the summers there’s a group who meets in the mornings to ride, but alas I don’t join them, because I’m at Crossfit.

I’m not logging as many miles on the bike as I would like, and I’ve petitioned a few folks to bring back our lunch rides.  We’ll be riding tomorrow.  And after the ride in the 95 degree heat with 100% humidity, I’m going to want a shower.

So here we are at the part where I’m considering getting naked in the parking lot.

For the average person, this is a great idea.  A chance at a quick shower before going back to work so as to be less offensive to the coworkers.

For someone as clumsy as me, however, this feels like a recipe for disaster.

Have I ever told you the story of how I ended up with a concussion from shaving my twat in a gym locker room?

Yeah.  My foot that was propped above my head to give me ahem… access… slipped off the wall and I fell over into the slimy public shower curtain with such force I ripped the rod right off its hinges, fell out of the shower, and whacked myself on the tile floor.  When I came to several moments later I was surrounded by NAKED 60 year old women trying to help me up with my hand still holding a razor sandwiched between my legs.

I ended up with a half shaved hoo hoo, a huge goose egg on my head and one hell of a story.

So I’m sure you can see my trepidation about showering in the parking lot.  Granted, there won’t be any netherbits grooming, this will be a quick rinse and fluff, but I will need to be extra careful so as to avoid any CPR needs while nude in the workplace.

 

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15 thoughts on “What not to do in public showers

    1. Never move to Florida. Where do you live?

      And by the way, totally thought of you while naming this blog today. It was going to be “twat shaving in public showers” but I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up for something sexy. 🙂

      1. I don’t know. A knocked out naked attractive woman laying on the floor of a bathroom may be how many men’s fantasies begin. Ha. Unfortunately, I do not share that sentiment. Nonetheless, entertaining blog. The “Don’t Shave Your Twat in Public Showers” would have attracted a lot more viewers though. lol

    1. Thanks for the comment!

      Sadly, I am a serious sweater. Like, my hair looks as if I’ve taken a shower when I’m done working out BEFORE I have bathed. I need a shower. Otherwise I will kill small animals and potentially children with my funk.

      I’ll be sure to post my naked parking lot report after I attempt it today. Fingers crossed for no hilarity.

    1. You should just let him read it. He will understand. 🙂

      I’m glad I gave you a giggle, but be nice to that hip! I’m sending healing juju your way. (And I’m fully clothed while sending it, so there’s no chance for injury or public humiliation).

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