I’m officially one third of the way thru the Whole 30 and thought it might be fun to do a little status update for all the inquiring minds who want to know how it’s going. Obviously, as this is me we’re talking about, this will be more of the honest-shit-they-don’t-tell-you-on-the-website stuff that you can look forward to should you ever choose to do this challenge as well.
Without further ado, here’s the top 5 things that have changed since I started Whole 30.
I poop all the damn time.
I wish I was joking. Anyone who read this post knows how I feel about pooping, but the short version is, it pisses me off. Especially at work.
But I guess when you’re eating this many veggies, and avocados like they grow on trees or something, it happens.
I sleep like I’ve never slept before.
It’s arguable that what I’m doing should actually be called “hibernation” or “coma.” Last night was a solid 12 hours that would have been completely uninterrupted if I didn’t need to wake up to pee (which involved poo. See #1). I am traditionally a bit of an insomniac, so this is really a welcome change. Which brings me to my next point…
I have the most cracked-out dreams you can imagine.
Last night I dreamt that I ate an Egg McMuffin and got violently ill and was so disappointed in myself that I considered offing myself. But I never got the chance because zombies attacked and yummy-handstand-push-up-guy saved us by doing, you guessed it, handstand push-ups. And that’s just what I REMEMBER kids.
I think about sex ALL THE TIME.
I mean, I already thought about sex all the time, but at the moment it’s SO much worse. If I had to guess I would say it’s the combo of my body looking damn good right now, and the extra nutrients or something playing my libido like a fiddle. Husband doesn’t seem to mind this effect as much as the poo, so as long as I avoid dry humping the legs of strangers, this one can stay as far as I’m concerned.
I feel SO much better.
Here’s the part where I tout the benefits of this program, even though in the short term I’m still cranky and feeling the side effects of the lack of sugar.
I know that I’ve lost weight. The jiggly stomach thing I usually have going on is pretty much nonexistent. After only 11 days, every pair of pants I own fit better. Other than the constant poo, I have absolutely no stomach issues. I don’t even think I fart. I’m serious, my colon has never been happier.
I’m also noticing other unexpected differences. I used to get heartburn all the time, but realized just yesterday that I haven’t touched the Tums in my desk at work since I began this challenge.
My skin is crystal clear. I’ve always been pretty lucky in that area, but I literally do not have a single pimple to speak of right now. In addition to that, my fingernails are growing so fast that my manicure that was supposed to last 2 weeks got changed yesterday after only 10 days because I was starting to look trashy.
I am so so ready to be in the weeks where the “energy boost” happens, and I know it’s just around the corner. I’ll throw it out there that I have not cheated even a little bit, even once on this program. I am flat shocked that I’ve made it this far, but am falling into a pattern where following it is becoming very easy and I’m not thinking about it all that much.
I’m in this for the full 30 days, and possibly longer. I knew all the science on the front end, but I couldn’t have imagined that already I would be seeing such positive effects.
Stay tuned for updates, but for the moment, I’m a believer.