My sociopathic tendencies

I am terrible at talking about my feeeeeeeeelings.  Terrible.  I would rather talk about pretty much anything else, including my bowel movements, than how I feel.  I usually end up cracking a bad joke or changing the subject abruptly when things become too emotionally complex just so that I don’t need to venture into squirmy territory.

So basically, it’s a pain in the ass to be in a relationship with me.

Admittedly, there are some perks.  I rarely get upset to the point I need to talk about things, and it takes a whole lot for me to start a fight.

On the opposite end however, when I get my feelings hurt or if there is an emotional discussion I need to have,  I am a complete pussy about having it.

I remember when I was kid writing my mom notes to tell her why I was upset, rather than sitting down and talking with her about it.  I even drove her crazy, and she birthed me.

As an adult I like to think I’ve gotten at least a bit better about it, but I still hold things inside for days longer than I should and often times will resort to writing/texting or emailing when I should just pick up the phone or have a conversation face to face.  It’s not that I’m intimidated by confrontation, but that I am just so darn uncomfortable talking about how I feel.

Here’s hoping it’s one of those things I overcome with age.  But if not, there’s always email.  And alcohol.

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7 thoughts on “My sociopathic tendencies

  1. I like telling people when I’m upset, so they can a) fix it or 2) give me a chance to find out I was wrong or c) let them know they don’t get to do whatever they want at the expense of others. As for lovey feelings, I like to give sincere praise to others and hope they get the point about my affection, but as far as the raw stuff…well…yuck…I avoid it too. That’s where the alcohol comes in. Alcohol, and email…in that order. I’m with ya!

  2. I think a LOT of people are like that but don’t really recognize it. It’s all about balance if you ask me. I try and give myself some time to digest feelings/frustrations before making it someone else’s issue as well…(like I try and really let myself figure out HOW I would want to say something and make sure it’s worth the discussion before I do it. Maybe by the time I’ve thought it through it won’t seem so necessary to talk it out…)

  3. I suck at the feelings cause I’m a crybaby…happy, sad, mad… doesn’t matter I’ll probably cry and then it’s pointless to share cause I end up being a mess. I was so you, writing the notes. UGH. I have in the long run become better at expressing myself but it’s mostly avoid the feelings and move on.

    Alcohol makes everything better until of course it doesn’t :/

    1. Agreed. It’s awesome to drink until you can’t feel feelings… until you have that one tequila shot too many and suddenly you’re feeling feelings that you’re not even really feeling… like anger. About nothing.

    2. Oh…that’s me too! I cry. Then find myself apologizing for crying. Again. Then cause of the tears I lose control of the discussion and it never seems to go as planned :-p but the ones who cry are the ones who bothered to really give a damn in the first place…

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