I am terrible at talking about my feeeeeeeeelings. Terrible. I would rather talk about pretty much anything else, including my bowel movements, than how I feel. I usually end up cracking a bad joke or changing the subject abruptly when things become too emotionally complex just so that I don’t need to venture into squirmy territory.
So basically, it’s a pain in the ass to be in a relationship with me.
Admittedly, there are some perks. I rarely get upset to the point I need to talk about things, and it takes a whole lot for me to start a fight.
On the opposite end however, when I get my feelings hurt or if there is an emotional discussion I need to have, I am a complete pussy about having it.
I remember when I was kid writing my mom notes to tell her why I was upset, rather than sitting down and talking with her about it. I even drove her crazy, and she birthed me.
As an adult I like to think I’ve gotten at least a bit better about it, but I still hold things inside for days longer than I should and often times will resort to writing/texting or emailing when I should just pick up the phone or have a conversation face to face. It’s not that I’m intimidated by confrontation, but that I am just so darn uncomfortable talking about how I feel.
Here’s hoping it’s one of those things I overcome with age. But if not, there’s always email. And alcohol.