I sure know how to make an impression

grocery shopping

What does the girl at the grocery store think when I come there right from Crossfit and buy tampons, mangos, a bottle of wine, and a pint of ice cream, and she’s stuck ringing up my purchases?

If it was a good day, I’m filthy from rolling around on the ground doing burpees.  I smell like a foot smashed up again an asshole with a little bit of dog slobber and sweat mixed in, and I probably look like I just took a shower.  Because ya know, I sweat so much that everything on me, including my hair, is just wet.

It seems like the only time I ever go to the grocery store is after Crossfit.  I hate going on the weekends, so I always go on a random week night.  And it’s always a night that hubs is working late, which means it’s usually a day that I convince myself I can sleep in and go work out that night and he won’t mind.

And lord knows I don’t mind the extra two hours of sleep.

I wonder how they would react if I came into the grocery store bathed and fully clothed in say, work clothes?  Would some random good hygiene alarm go off and balloons rain down from the sky and I would win an award or something?

Because I should.

Oh and for the record, the ice cream is for the husband.  And we’re just not going to talk about the wine.  Best not to poke mama bear when she’s sweaty AND thirsty.


21 thoughts on “I sure know how to make an impression

  1. Wow, you’re a good wife. I would have said, “Go buy your own frickin ice cream!”
    And the wine, well, that goes without saying. A necessity.

  2. Haha! Love it! Glad I’m not the only one who seems to always feel the need to grocery shop after sweating my a** off… I do my best to pick a store that has self-checkout though to save the cashier the agony of ringing through my pig pen post WOD smelly self. And no need to justify the wine. Grapes are totally Paleo.

    1. Yeah, I live in a community that really values face to face interaction. That, and I don’t think the retirees around here could understand the self check outs, so we don’t have them.

      I actually feel worse for whoever ends up next to me in line.

      But whatever. It’s not like I never bathe. It can’t be *that* bad… right?

    1. I’ve been going to this store for almost 2 years now and admittedly, most of the cashiers know me. I try to always be friendly. But I will say, I’m certain that if I ever did go in like, real clothes with *gasp* make up on, it’s likely they wouldn’t recognize me at all.

  3. I only go to the grocery store nicely dressed and no one ever gives me an award or a prize or anything. I would go after CrossFit as the store is almost directly across the street, but I don’t have the energy at 7 AM to hit the place.

    1. My grocery store is also just across the street, so it’s almost too conveinent when I’m CFing in the evenings.

      Then again, I almost always end up going not only stinky, but hungry as well. Bad combo.

  4. Love it. I often have to stop at the grocery store post WOD…And we live in a little town where there are tourists simply walking around the grocery store (Market) to browse, and check out the local selection of (fill in the blank).

    They are usually in their full NorthFace tracksuit, or where-ever they over-paid for it…and I’m sure I just look like a slice of heaven….smelling sweaty–and looking sweaty. JUST GIVE ME THE DAMN SWEET POTATOES AND EGGS, AND I’LL BE ON MY WAY, thank you!

    Don’t worry I’ll try not to scare away the tourists.

  5. Hahaha, that is brilliant! All the shops open round my house that are open late when I’m coming back from CF are run by Chinese people and the girl at mine is super lovely except the other day I went in after class and she smiled and me and said ‘It raining?’ I tried to resist the urge to see if I had a full on sweat face and just smiled and was like ehhh, no…I just walked up that massive hill straight from Crossfit class.

    Then I drink wine to console myself that I am the sweatiest, filthiest looking girl in Spain.

    1. I maintain that if you drink *enough* wine then when you sweat it comes out of your pores… which means you smell delicious and all is forgiven.

      That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

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