Nothing to see here…

Today at work I sat down and ripped the zipper clean out of my pants.

That totally happened.

Now never you mind that these particular pants are at least 5 years old, are my favorite black ones, and have been worn and washed at least once per week since I bought them.

We also should not take into consideration that the hems on both legs have fallen out more than once, and have been repaired, and even now the left one is being held on by safety pins because I just haven’t had the time to get the sewing machine out.

It’s irrelevant that all of the buttons on them are not the originals, as over time they’ve fallen off and needed to be replaced.

None of that matters.

Because right now I’m focused the fact that my fat ass sad down and RIPPED THE EFFING ZIPPER OUT OF MY PANTS people.

I’m never eating again.


20 thoughts on “Nothing to see here…

  1. Awww I feel ya. I ripped the ass lining right out of my winter white dress pants on the dance floor at a wedding a few weeks ago. Feel better? 😀

    1. Sadly no. Your booty is supposed to get bigger with Crossfit. But your Fupa? Yeah, that’s supposed to get smaller.

      That said, MAN I bet that was hilarious. I would totally pay to see that. Tell me it made the wedding video.

      1. OK now that I have googled Fupa, we can continue…..
        Thankfully, it was only the lining, and not the actual pants, and no one could tell because I didn’t give myself away. And it better not be on the video, because it was all of those stupid wedding dances, you know, like YMCA and the macarena. Fun to do after many drinks, but I really don’t want to SEE myself doing it!
        Anyway, sorry about your beloved pants!

  2. Oh no! Was your shirt long enough to cover it up? So sorry about your pants!

    I wore white pants to work once. I also spilled water all over my lap that day. Luckily it was only about an hour before I was going to leave and I had workout pants in my car. Cause otherwise everyone would have seen London, France, and the whole she-bang.

    1. Yeah, thank God the shirt is long enough to cover it up. I do have workout pants in my car, but we’re a pretty office-y environment and that would be noticed.

      My ego is what really got damaged today. LOL

      1. Oh good thing for the shirt! Lol I hear ya! Yeah I work in a research department with a bunch of scientists. We don’t dress up too much, so workout pants were okay for an hour (and I tried to stay at my desk). I wouldn’t make a habit out of it though!

  3. put down that pity and pick up that bar, hook grip there you go!

    Then go home a pick up a roasted drumstick. (with a large side salad Hopelly next time you will do more than rip a zipper. Your monster muscle squat thighs will burst those pants to shreads, boo yah

  4. FUPA is a new one to me, made me laugh. But I don’t believe it, I just think you wore out your pants. I bet you’re much more vigorous in the way you move now, cross fit will do that to you too.

  5. Tore open the crotch down the inner thigh of mine (I work retail remember) as I was squatting down just as store opened – all I could do was strategically tie sweaters around my waist to try to cover up…looked like the biggest dork on the planet but I was kinda proud that my legs now rub together 🙂 still miss those pants…

  6. Ha ha … I had a favorite pair of lightweight jeans. LOVED them. They were on me and in the wash and back on me. I was coaching skipping one day at work (teaching) and bent over to get a clip board off the ground, stood up and thought, ooh my zipper just came down (I could feel the breeze) … surreptitiously put my hand down to pull it up and was horrified to realize that i had a huge vertical tear in the side stomach-down to thigh area of my beloved jeans. Fortunately I had a long linen shirt on which covered it … but the wind was blowing and I had to really anchor it! My jeans were a few years old too so I feel your pain!

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