Man hands and handjobs don’t mix

feel safe

It’s probably not surprising that hubs and I, we have some sex.  Heck, I would go so far as to say we have some downright athletic romps thanks to my “ass to grass” squat capabilities.

Since adding Crossfit into my fitness routine, I’ve received nothing but compliments from the man.  From the changes to my body, to my stamina, to my strength in various er… positions, he’s a big fan.

And frankly, so am I.  It’s super awesome to be able to do it and not end up focused on how much my thighs are burning or how sore my lower back is because the muscles are weak and out of shape.

But, there has been one thing that has changed for the worse.  Lately, it’s been so bad that I’ve heard more than one “ow!” in the bedroom.  Since we’re not into the S&M stuff, ow is never a good word.

It’s my freaking hands.

They are a disaster.  So bad in fact, I’m banned from giving handjobs and really shouldn’t use them at all when touching the delicate bits.

This is such a shame because my grip strength kittens, it’s out of the darn world.

But my razor sharp callouses and man hand type texture just kills the mood.  Apparently no amount of callous shaving in the world is going to make them feel any less like sandpaper.

What’s a Crossfit girl to do?

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31 thoughts on “Man hands and handjobs don’t mix

  1. Cornhuskers lotion. It stinks like a mofo but it softens even boyfriends rough and calloused hands into little bunnies.

    Also, pumice stone and a callous shaver. Your two newest best friends. 🙂

    1. Thanks for the tips! Though I’m not sure I actually want to soften them up that much? Won’t that mean I have to go through the whole painful blistering phase again? I keep them shaved and very small, but my hands no longer hurt.

      1. You shouldn’t have to go through the whole process of pain/blistering, it’ll actually help to keep them from ripping as often and they won’t be so painful to the man-friend.

    1. Thanks! I figure I’ll lure in new readers with a nice innocent awesome running guest blog post, and then WHABAM hit em with the sex stuff. Might as well let them know what they’re in for, right? 🙂

    1. Well, you have to remember hubs doesn’t’ do CF. I’m actually kind of glad he doesn’t. If he did we would probably get it on so much I wouldn’t have time to blog… or eat for that matter. 🙂

  2. I bought an Angelfeet Pedicure File and haven’t looked back. They are pricey, but my hubby is always stealing it so I recently bought him one too! Does an awesome job on calluses if you moisturize right after. I do my hands once/week so there are no complaints in the bedroom! 😉

  3. HAHA! Awesome post! The guys at the gym always think it’s cool when we chickies show them our ripped up, calloused hands .. until we say .. “oh yeah, doesn’t that feel good”? whilst making the “stroking motion” … the look on their faces change quickly! 🙂

  4. Pahaha you crack me up every time! I LOVE the honesty. Do you wear weight lifting gloves? I’m fairly certain they make kits for callouses and what not. I think Mary Kay makes one. My friend is a gymnast and has that problem and I think she uses Mary Kay.

  5. You.Crack.Me.Up. So true. You can try using a pumice stone to soften them up a bit? Maybe? It sounds like you got it covered in every other area, though, so I think loosing the handjob ability won’t be too awful

    1. I do use a pumice stone. I’m apparently a man-handed disaster even with the scrubbing. Though hubs agrees with ya. In fact I think his response was (sarcastically) “oh darn I guess that just means you’ll need to use your ____ (use your imagination) instead.” 😀

  6. this has been quite interesting ,,, a long time ago I had a similar problem ,,, same area but different parts ,,, working in construction my hands were bad ,, I could shred a pair of stockings with one swipe,, sandpaper ,,, I would take an old worn out piece, sand my hands and fingers then I would put on some hand lotion,, this worked well for me,,, good luck ,,,,

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