But it’s a GOOD cult!

I hear pretty frequently that Crossfit is a cult.  Sure, it’s a “good” cult (is that like being a good witch) but it’s a cult.  I can dig that.

What I don’t think these people realize is that Cycling is way more of a cult than Crossfit has figured out how to be yet.

And as someone who does both, let me tell ya, sometimes these cults are in conflict.  In Crossfit you drink only gluten free hard cider where as in cycling you drink beer.

In Crossfit you eat steak and kale, in cycling you carbo load with pasta and Gu.

Luckily, both cults share a love of bacon, so I can deal with the rest of the conflicting messages.

As someone who is relatively new to both sports, I’m really lucky that both come with a rule book.  In regards to Crossfit, just google “Crossfit House Rules” and you will get thousands of options of boxes around the country and their respective codes of conduct.  They’re all similar.  Work hard, push your limits, check your ego at the door.

In cycling, there is really only one rule book.  Published by the infamous Velominati, the keepers of the cog, new and seasoned cyclists alike can appreciate the 93 rules of riding the road.

Granted, I don’t have a ton of experience with cycling clubs, but speaking for the one I ride with pretty regularly I can tell you, we know our rules.

Not only do we know the rules, but we regularly reference them.   In the middle of a windy ride, someone might just yell “Rule 5”  as they’re pulling the paceline and hammering away.

When I asked about a tri or racerback tank top to go with our new team kits, I was simply told “Rule 7”  and it was left at that.

Most recently, after my epic derailleur fail, I decided it was time to push the new bike conversation husband and I had been having recently a little further.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved my Allez, but as I bought it nearly 10 years ago now before I knew what I was really looking for in a bike, I had been itching for an upgrade.

Yes, I have a full carbon very fancy tri bike.  No, it’s not the same thing.

As it turned out, hubs was more than willing to not only have the conversation, but to buy the bike.  So tomorrow I will be getting fit on my brand spankin’ new Specialized Tarmac SL4 Comp Ultegra.

I’m so excited I could pee.

But wouldn’t you know it, not 15 minutes after they called me to tell me that my new bike has come in, I received a second call from the shop telling me that they had figured out how to FIX my Allez!  For “only” $180 I could have her good as new and still be able to ride her from time to time if I ever desired.

I’m sure you all see where this is going.  Husband didn’t quite understand it.  Luckily for me, I was able to reference “the rules” and help him to know the reality of how this works.

According to Rule #12:

“While the minimum number of bikes one should own is three, the correct number is n+1, where n is the number of bikes currently owned. This equation may also be re-written as s-1, where s is the number of bikes owned that would result in separation from your partner.”

Lucky for me, 3 bikes does not equal s-1.

So as of tomorrow I will have my original road bike, my tri bike, and my fancy new bike (yes they all have names), and only one ass to ride them with.

What’s a cyclist to do?

17 thoughts on “But it’s a GOOD cult!

  1. lol. trust me when I say I know where you are coming from. I have been racing bikes since 2010. I was super overwhelmed by people who quoted The Rules and pretty much made me feel like I didn’t know how to be cool. I think it’s all kind of dumb and now is just a hipster thing, really. haha. but I do adhere to n+1. can never have too many bikes.

    Congrats on the new bike. sounds like a beauty.

    this weekend I will be coaching the Texas 4000 riders (texas4000.org) and they will begin their journey to becoming damn proud of their tan lines. haha.

  2. This cracks me up! And helps me to understand my biker friends (am I allowed to call them that? I think it sounds hardcore) and why they are constantly finding new bikes to purchase and spruce up. (“Don’t you have enough?” isn’t an acceptable question to ask.)

    1. It’s possible they would prefer cyclist friends, but I guess it depends on the friends. 🙂 And yeah, that questions is, apparently, pretty much blasphemy. I asked last night where I’m supposed to store these things and the guy at the bike shop looked at me all wide eyed and shocked and said, “in the bedroom of course.” Um… no.

  3. Three bikes! I’m kinda jealous. I’ll be doing my “sprint endurance event” (don’t want to call it a tri since my tri friends will give me too much grief after I publicly denounced tri) on my 2004 Lemond …vintage, baby!!! Show us the bike pron! 🙂

  4. I feel ya! My husband and I are triathletes and he also mountain bikes. We have 7 complete bike between us and a converted bedroom of bike parts lol

    1. I actually think I’m happy hubs doesn’t bike. We would totally need a bigger house! And mountain bikers are a breed different from any I’ve ever met. I’ve never seen so many dirty hairy men just KILL a mountain. (not that your husband is dirty or hairy, but you get my point).

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s