Stick it in me hard please… uh, that’s what I said

After a super eventful 24 hours I can now say there are worst things than being sick for three weeks.

Like getting a call from your doctor at 8 o’clock at night telling you to go to the ER IMMEDIATELY because your blood test came back wonky and there’s a strong possibility you have blood clots in your lungs, and could end up with a pulmonary embolism, stroke out, and die at any second.

Thank goodness the above didn’t happen, but I’m now significantly poorer, stabbed more times than I can count with needles, and badly in need of a shower and a pep talk.

I shall live to snark another day.

There was some hilarity in the whole experience though.  When I got to the hospital I was whisked back to a room pretty much immediately (how often does THAT happen?) and was paired with the coolest dude nurse I ever could have asked for.

Our interaction started with him telling me that he needed to draw blood and my responding “ok stick it in me.  But do it hard, I don’t want you to have to do it more than once to get what you want.”

When he looked shocked and befuddled and then promptly responded, “well then shut your mouth and stop distracting me” I knew we would get along just fine.

We proceed to talk guns, boobs and tell each other to shut up regularly for the next several hours, cracking up hubs in the process.

I’m not sure what I would have done with some sweet little old lady nurse who winced when I dropped f-bombs.  Thank goodness I got the dude who knew how to handle someone as cranky as me.

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The flu is not like pie, no one wants a second helping

Being sick is psychologically exhausting.

When I first got the flu three weeks ago, I still managed to keep my chin up and focus on getting well. I wanted to get back to Crossfit, to riding my bike, and to feeling well enough to cram everything into life.
But that was 3 weeks ago kittens. While I had a slight reprieve in feeing like I might die at any minute last week, yesterday I spiked yet another 102 fever complete with a hacking cough and the chills and sweats.

The first flu was incredible sinus congestion and an upset stomach, so I’m sure I’m not relapsing, but instead have caught another strain of the virus.

I know I should go to the doctor, but I also know it’ll cost me $100 and there’s nothing they can do.

Compound that with the fact that I am completely out of sick days, so even with my fever and the corresponding delirium, I’m at work today.
Long story short, I’m damn miserable. My chin is nowhere near up. In fact, I’m not certain it’s still attached.

Over the past few days I’ve considered quitting Crossfit, my job, and just life in general. All I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep until I feel better and then figure out a way to never get this sick again.
Three weeks is a LONG time to be miserable folks. I’m not sure how people who live in chronic pain are able to do it. I wouldn’t be strong enough. Three weeks of phlegm and I’m ready to off myself.

I know I’m a total sicko, but this is getting ridiculous

It’s been a full 7 days since the onset of what we shall call the flu-from-hell.  At this point, I’m grateful to still be alive.

I came back to work today after having to take the entire week off last week.  I mean, I would have come in, but something about the vomit in my hair and the delirious half-awake fever induced hallucinations made me think better of it.

To my co-workers, you’re welcome.

 Today I’m still only breathing out of one nostril, but having air flow thru those nose hairs feels glorious.

When my lunchtime crew went out for a ride I almost died of envy, until I stood up to go pee and got lightheaded and a little nauseous.

It’s safe to say I’m on the mend, but not quite there yet.

The good news is, I’m full of snark and don’t have anywhere physical to direct it.  Seeing as I’m going to be braving the mall tonight to do some Christmas shopping, I would bet my bottom dollar that there’s an entertaining story or two tomorrow.

Especially because I have weapons.  Snot rockets will scare away even the most determined elf or Santa imposter.

Product Review: Fabletics

I am always on the lookout for new, high quality, fashionable fitness gear.  That said, I also HATE to shop.  I would 100% rather order online and be done with it than brave the crowds at the stores, especially during the holidays.

Lately, the number of companies that offer a monthly subscription for around $50 that will ship you fabulous finds that have been matched to your personality profile based on a quiz is really growing.  I probably get an email a day from folks trying to sell me jewelry, shoes, lingerie or fitness apparel.

Admittedly, I’ve tried several of them.  Some with great results, some sub-par and were cancelled quickly.

Most recently, I decided to give Fabletics a try.  Once their promotions flooded my facebook newsfeed, advertising 50% off my first outfit giving me a complete, high-quality head to toe fitness look for only $25, I couldn’t resist.

At first glance, the website is pretty standard.  As a first time visitor you create a username and password, take a quick quiz indicating your activity, style and size preferences, and then are taken to a page with several outfits that the site feels fit your style.

From there though, they get fancy.  There are at least 50 outfit “packages” available.  Some with two pieces (top and bottom) and some with as many as four, including nice extras like sports bras, scarves, leg warmers and so on.  You can purchase the outfit for a flat price, and as a first time shopper take 50% off the entire order.

If you don’t like any of their endless outfit combinations, you can also choose individual pieces and will get 50% off your first piece.  To save the most money, I highly recommend the outfit option, as the bottoms typically run around the cost of an entire outfit when not pre-paired.

From there, each month you have a chance to purchase an outfit.  Your matches are sent to you on the 1st of the month, and you have until the 10th to decide whether to buy, or skip a month.

I’m on month three and waiting for my December shipment as we speak.  It should be here by the end of the week and I’m beyond excited!

At this point, I’ve received two full outfits, both of which I LOVE!  I will review the individual pieces below, but if you don’t want to read further, I’ll sum it up by saying I HIGHLY recommend this brand.  The quality is extremely good, and for the price you can’t beat it.

Remember, they are offering 50% off first outfits, and if you get there thru this link, I will get an incentive for having sent you.  “Members” get their own link, and every new person who signs up and takes advantage of the offer gets the referring member 200 points.  1000 points is a new outfit, so there’s all kinds of ways to get a great deal with this company.

Asaro Legging- Black

I don’t normally do a long pant, but I loved the top paired with these and the reviews online were really favorable.  I am SO glad I went with this purchase.  These are really really high quality.  They were marked as “moderate” compression, and I agree with that.  They are very soft, very stretchy, and fit more loosely in the lower leg than I anticipated.  They have what I would call a medium rise, coming just below my belly button.

I followed their size chart, and as I am pretty much a size 12 exactly I ordered the XL and they fit perfectly.  The wide waistband on the pants eliminates any muffin top effect.

They are a tiny bit long on me (I’m 5’6”), but because they are so narrow at the ankle it just creates a kind of fun bunched effect.

Love these pants.  The quality is similar too if not the same as what I’ve found with Lululemon and Athleta at a fraction of the price.

Lima Capri- Black

As I’m a capri girl at heart, in month two I went with this option and am even more impressed than I was with the leggings.  These are marked as maximum compression, and while I don’t consider them to be comparable with a true compression product, they are noticeably tighter and have less give than the legging (in a good way).

Like the legging, they fit to a tee, have a moderate rise, and are made a very high quality moisture-wicking fabric.  I was pleased with how “heavy” the capris felt, and yet how moisture wicking the material was in practice.  I can see these lasting for a very long time, and can say nothing but good things about them.

Utopia Tank- Heather Gray

utopia tank

I am in LOVE with this top.  I want it in every color.  Except maybe the pepto bismol pink… but to each their own.

This was one that looked cute online, but the photo’s can’t do the quality or fit of this piece justice.  The fabric is this great blend, that somehow manages to have a little meat on it, but also be extremely lightweight and wicking.  It is a super flattering cut, offering lots of support up top with the thick straps, built in bra, and criss cross back, and then flaring out nicely to be really fashionable at the same time.

I’m a D cup, and was able to remove the padded cups and wear this for a low impact workout without any additional bra.  When I wear it to Crossfit or for any sort of running or jumping however, I would wear a bra underneath for extra support.

The top had some nice extra touches as well, including a side pocket that was perfect iphone size, allowing for easy storage during a gym session.

Leon Tank- Mint/Cerulean

leon tank

Another winner from Fabletics, but for different reasons than the Utopia tank.  This tank is made from super soft, breathable, fitted material.  Usually, I wouldn’t like something this tight, but again the thickness and quality of the fabric did wonders to smooth out my tummy imperfections and fit perfectly.  I love this top both for working out, and for hanging out because it’s just so darn comfortable.  The wide tank style straps make it easy to pair any sports bra with it.

 

**Please note, this is not a paid review.  These opinions are all my own and I won’t be compensated in any way for them, outside of the “rewards points” should you purchase an outfit.**

Somebody broke my time machine

I totally owe you guys a post.  Or ya know, 10 of them.  But I have a really great excuse…

Ok so it’s not so great.  I traveled for the holidays and now I have the flu and all I want to do is nap, eat ice cream, and punch anyone who tells me to do otherwise in the face.

But because this is ME we’re talking about, I’m going to make up a great excuse.  I broke my time machine.

See, usually I can Harry Potter this shit up and travel back in time to make room in my day to do all my crazy workouts, get in a solid 8 hours at the job, cook and prep my meals, and sleep every once in awhile too.

But last week my sproket went AWOL and my flux capicitor went on the fritz.

So while I’m waiting for replacement parts I will have to devote my time to phlegm fighting and soup sipping.  But as soon as I can sit upright without feeling like I’m going to yack, I’ll be back with stories galore.

Until then, sit tight kittens.  I miss you all.