I need help… and I’m willing to show a little leg to get it!

Look at me go!
Look at me go!

So my vagina wanted to divorce me on Sunday.  True story.

See, I’m signed up for the American Diabetes Association’s annual Tour de Cure ride at the end of March, and I am raising money and riding miles to support this great organization. (If you want to support me, please go here.  Every single dollar makes a difference and I NEED help to raise the most money possible!)

And when I say miles, I’m not kidding.  I’m riding sixty freaking two of them.  That’s a long time in the saddle kids.

This past Sunday was a good warm up event, and I got my cycle on with a 40 mile distance.

I’m not going to lie, I was SUPER nervous going into this ride.  I had a friend to ride with, and had been putting in the training and the miles leading up to it, but 40 would be the longest ride I’ve done yet and I was a little concerned my body wouldn’t hold up.

Luckily, I was wrong.  I felt GREAT.  Amazing even.  When we got to 10 miles I didn’t believe we were there already.  At the rest stop at 20 I was itching to get back on my bike. At 30 I was still laughing and having a great time, and even pulling the pack a bit.

But at about 35 miles, while taking stock of how my body felt, I realized a somewhat unpleasant truth.

Despite the extremely padded bike shorts, the plethora of chamois butter, and the time spent training, my lady bits were KILLING me.

How does one get THAT into better shape?

19 thoughts on “I need help… and I’m willing to show a little leg to get it!

  1. It’s good to know that men aren’t alone in the bike seat discomfort. Seriously though, who designed those things and what was wrong with their genitals that they settled on that particular shape?

    1. What kills me is that the saddle I have is supposedly one of the most COMFORTABLE on the market. At the bike shop they showed me all the pictures of the pressure points and how mine is one of the best.

      For real, what do people riding the cheap saddles feel like? I bet it feels like being impaled. And not in a fun way.

  2. Sometimes the more “comfy” saddles are actually worse for you because there is more material to rub you the wrong way. My last saddle was killing me, and then I went down to a lighter (see: harder) saddle and it is WAY WAY better.
    If you haven’t already, invest in some high quality bibs. I think bibs are better than shorts because of the support.
    But regardless of all of that, it really does take some time 🙂 I don’t want to say you build up callouses…. but……….. something like that 😛

    1. Thanks for the tip. I do have a few amazing bibs, and was wearing my favorite one Sunday. It was strange, it wasn’t a rubbing issue, more of a pressure issue. Like, my sit bones in my lady bits were sore for DAYS after.

      I think you’er right though. Eventually your body gets used to anything, and it was really only the last 5 miles that I felt it.

      Solution, ride longer. 🙂

  3. Unfortunately my current financial situation is somewhat laughable. Especially with the costs of getting my book off the ground. So I’m afraid all I can offer is a, best of luck. 62 miles is certainly an impressive challenge and I hope you make it to the end in one piece!

  4. That was the most amusing and terrifying first line of a blog I have seen in ages!! 😀

    Really good luck with the ride…and the training that much time in the saddle is terrifying!

  5. You’re not alone. Decent women-specific padded shorts help, and I agree with the firm saddle comment (it’s counter intuitive but you don’t want a saddle you sink into). As someone who tends to sporadically take up cycling for a few weeks and then lapse again I have found that the best cure is to ride regularly and keep your legs strong, because they effectively push you up so there’s less pressure through the saddle. The reason it hurts more towards the end of the ride isn’t because you’ve been in the saddle a while, but because your legs get tired.

    I’d also recommend getting a professional bike fit if you haven’t had one already.

    Good luck with your challenge (and lady bits)!

    1. Thanks for all the tips! I hadn’t thought about the leg fatigue, but you’re totally right. I guess just like any other exercise, once fatigue sets in your form is compromised. Good to know!

  6. LOL. I feel you on this. I signed up for a half-Ironman later this year and my big fear is not the swim or the run, but rather perching on that little piece of cruelty for 56 miles.

    I met a group of girls at IMFL who told me that the saddles that are like prongs are the most comfortable ones. I haven’t tried them yet but I might have to, because the nonsense that is currently on my bike is destroying me as a sexual human being.

    If you come up with anything else please post it. My vagina will thank you.

    1. I have a variation of one of those on my tri-bike and they are actually pretty effective. When I got fit for my new roadie, however, they recommended a different saddle. Because the way you sit on a tri bike isn’t the same, and the pressure is in different areas. Which makes total sense. So depending on what type of bike you’re cruising, it might work. This is the one I have on my tri bike, hope it’s helpful: http://www.specialized.com/us/en/ftb/saddles/womens-roadtriathlon-saddles/sitero-pro

      1. Thanks for the recommendation. I’ll admit I flinched a bit at the price tag, but honestly anything that takes pressure off my crotch is worth whatever I can afford.

        Also that’s good to know about the difference between roadies and tris. In retrospect it makes sense but it didn’t occur to me until you said it!

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