Finding the right woman to dive between your legs and tell you that you’re good to go in the nether bit region for another year is really quite the process.
See, since I’ve retired we changed our insurance from my employer provided to a new one. While the insurance is great, it doesn’t have any of my usual doctors in the plan. So the lovely woman who has been checking under my hood for the past few years will now cost me four times as much, and really, I would rather spend that money on shoes.
So I’m shopping around.
When I first started researching other providers in my area, I thought it would be really easy. I figured I would just pick another lady and we would be good to go. Unfortunately, I’m apparently way more neurotic than I realized.
Turns out, the doctor HAS to be a woman. Every time I was doing research on a website on a male doctor I either decided he was too attractive or too unattractive and either way it would skeeve me out. No offense to any dude OBGYN’s out there, but I apparently just can’t handle that.
Then I found myself looking at credentials. My crazy parts informed me am only interested in someone who graduated from college between the years of 1970 and 1990. Any younger and I felt like they wouldn’t know what the heck they were doing. Um, really Nicole? 1990 was almost 25 years ago. I would think someone who graduated in 2000 with 15 years of experience would be just fine. But no. Not in my brain.
Once I had it narrowed down (mind you, there were only 20 female providers in a 20 mile radius to choose from to begin with) I started looking at photos. I then learned that anyone with a unibrow, facial piercings, or too much make up in their photos went in the “no” pile as well.
What the hell? I guess I’m more judgmental than even I realized.
Then again, this is the person who is going to be examining my most prized possession and telling me that I’m perfect for another 12 months.
Oh, and filling my birth control. Because really, we can’t have any more totally nutso judgmental people like me in the world.