It appears walruses can’t do pistols

“Natural athletes” kind of make me want to punch them directly in the taint.  How’s that for a jealous response?

As someone who has absolutely zero natural athletic ability at anything, there are times that my eye twitches so hard I feel like it might explode when someone brand new walks into the box, picks up a jump rope, and within seconds executes flawless double unders.

I’ve been doing this shit for almost TWO YEARS and I still can’t string them together.

Today, for the first time EVER in the entire time I’ve been at my box we did Pistols as a SWOD.  Like literally, ever.  Sure, there are some people who can do them, and once in awhile they will pop up in a WOD, but never before have we actually done them specifically  to do them.

So obviously, today was the first time many many people have ever attempted to do a pistol in class.

Since I’m really working on the whole overcoming my fears thing, I gave it a shot, and promptly fell on my ass.  After tweaking and scaling and wrapping myself up in every color band available to heave my giant walrus ass back up once I got down there, I was able to execute a few successfully on my left leg.  My right was a total bust.  I could get down there, and then fall to the floor.  Once I determined that was as far as I was going to get in this particular drill, I just tried to do it gracefully.

funny-walrus-ice-gravity-ocean

Luckily no one (other than the coach who was desperately trying to help me) was really paying attention to me because not one but TWO people who had NEVER done pistols before got them on their FIRST DAMN TRY.

It was super exciting of course, but holy crap am I jealous.

Maybe they will introduce nap time to Crossfit programming.  I bet I can Rx that shit on my first try.

**Ps, I totally had to google what the plural of Walrus is for this post title.  Walruses is so much fun to say.  Try it.  You will also think it can’t possibly be correct, but it IS!  You’re welcome.**

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6 thoughts on “It appears walruses can’t do pistols

  1. ACK!!!! Choking over here laughing so hard. I feel you, girl! It’s still better than all the walruses on the couch 😀
    Today was the first time I ever tried pistols, too, and I can tell you for sure I will never be able to do them unassisted. But there were TWO people (girls!) newer than me in my class who just banged them out. Sigh.
    But I killed the ring dips. Pink band for the first time, YAY!

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