Unless you’re living in a shoe box, you’ve probably heard at least a tidbit about the whole Ray Rice knocking his woman into next week and losing his contract with the Baltimore Ravens. I’ve gotta be honest, when the news broke, I kind of didn’t care.
I mean sure, that’s an uber douchey move, but what the NFL chose or didn’t choose to do about it didn’t really matter to me. Crap like that happens, the league can support it or not. I don’t really know if I feel like they chose the high road, or if they’re taking a personal family matter and making it public. It’s not my business what people chose to do with their lives.
I was very “meh” about the whole thing until yesterday, when ESPN published this article about Janay Rice defending her husband for his actions. It piqued my interest, if for no other reason that my wonderment at what possible reason she might have to say it was ok.
I read the article, and have only this to say to my readers. If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, please PLEASE seek help. Domestic violence is no joke, and the psychological effects are sometimes far worse than the physical manifestations. In the article it states that Rice was charged with Felony Aggravated Assault back in May and was accepted into a pretrial intervention program to help him avoid jail time. This is not the first time he’s behaved this way, and the possibility exists that it won’t be the last.
I know that every single situation is different. People can change, especially people seeking help. The heart wants what the heart wants. And when children are involved it becomes even more complicated.
All I can do is give my two cents. If she, or you, or someone you know is in an abusive relationship because it’s true and it’s love and you are in therapy and an intervention program and working hard to change and save it; my best wishes to you. But if you are in a relationship because you’re SCARED, or you don’t feel like you deserve or can find better, or you’re fearful of the changes that it might cause in your life; be STRONG and LEAVE.
It’s a horrifying reality that women (and men) can be in abusive situations and truly believe in their heart of hearts that where they are is the best they will ever find. It’s up to every single one of us to help them realize that they are stronger than having to put up with that. Whether it’s the abuser seeking counseling and finding a way to change (and the ones abused doing the same to find a way not to allow themselves to tolerate this behavior), or it’s finding the strength and courage to leave, everyone can do something to help.
I don’t know the Rices’ situation, so all I can say to them is this; I wish you all the best in finding the peace and happiness you deserve. Whether it’s together or apart, it matters not. What matters is the physical, mental and emotional health of everyone involved. Good luck.
If you need more insights or help, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline, open 24/7, at 800-799-7233.