Songs that aren’t “Thriller” to jam to tonight

It’s Halloween, and yes, it is totally appropriate to channel your inner MJ and dance around your living room while handing out candy.  But just in case you’re looking for a few ideas that aren’t your typical “Monster Mash” but are equally as creepy, check out my post over at Boozey today for 13 great ideas!

I even included links to the youtube videos to save you time!  You’re welcome.


In case you need extra Halloween candy motivation

I’m not a huge candy person, but that doesn’t mean around Halloween I’m not tempted.  Not having any kids helps, so does not buying the stuff until the last minute and sending any extras to work with hubs the next day.

But today when I brought home the Snickers and Twix and put the chocolately bastards in my Halloween bowl I was hit with temptation.

I sent my sister a text:

I just went to the grocery store to buy candy for the trick-or-treaters and now I feel the need to not be at home all day so that I don’t eat it all before tonight.


I can always count on my sister to put things in perspective.  Her response:

Don’t be a b*itch and eat all the children’s joy.


So followers, don’t devour the joy.  Save it for the kiddos who are going to lose those teeth anyway.

Happy Halloween!

You’re About to Ride in a Time Machine

My favorite day of the year is coming up this weekend!!!  No, it’s totally NOT Halloween (have I ever mentioned how much clowns and scary movies absolutely terrify me?!), it’s the day we all get to “Fall Back,” or as I like to call it:


No seriously, you go to bed at night and wake up the next day and have a whole shiny new hour that you didn’t have before!  It’s good stuff kittens.

This year, I’ve got a challenge for my lovely readers.  There’s lots of research out there that says folks who do stuff in the morning are more likely to stick to it and make it a habit, yes?  Yes.  True statement.

With an extra hour in our day, wouldn’t it be cool if we could kick off our Fall right and use that hour to work towards a goal we’ve been wanting to achieve?

If you’ve really been trying to get out of bed in the mornings to workout, that is totally the day to start.  Or if you have it in your head that you would just eat better if you took the time to prep some meals, do it with that hour!  Let’s all challenge ourselves to use that hour to start a new healthy habit, before our bodies have a chance to miss it!

Personally, my extra hour is going to be spent on stretching and mobility.  My once a week yoga classes are great, but I really need to spend some focused time every day foam rolling and stretching.  I always plan to do it when I wake up in the morning, but seem to constantly get distracted.  I’m using my hour to start this new habit.

What about you?  What will you do with your hour?  What new healthy habit are you going to start this weekend?

I’m a City Fit Girls Ambassador!

city fit girls ambassador

Can I just roar GIRL POWER and get a few “amen’s” out of the audience this morning?

I’ve got to say, in the women’s fitness community there are so many super cool and inspiring people out there to get involved with.  Recently, I got turned onto City Fit Girls, a Philly based company founded in 2013 by Takia McClendon & Kiera Smalls.  These girls rock.  Kiera has lost over 100 pounds to date, and her blog, website, and the City Fit Girls movement is inspiring thousands of women nationwide to get active and healthy.

And they want MEEEEEE helping them spread the word.  How freaking cool is that?

You can check out their awesome site, shop, and blog here, and if you’re local to Philadelphia be sure to stop in and check out their boot camp.

This is a quote from their site that pretty much sums up City Fit Girls perfectly, and I’m so honored to be a part of this great movement:

City Fit Girls is a network of women who inspire, uplift, encourage and motivate others to live healthy lifestyles at home, school, workplace or social settings. We are runners, moms, entrepreneurs, triathletes and more!


Stay tuned for upcoming events, news, and great content from City Fit Girls right here on the blog!

Don’t Mind the Mess…

I’m rearranging the site a bit to make it easier to navigate!  This means all the poop and sex stories will be in one place, and the product reviews and recipes in their own little nooks as well.  So basically, you will be able to easily read only the drivel you want to see!

But as I’m going thru the process you’ll notice that not everything is where it belongs yet and some of the menu categories are going to come up blank.  Hold your horses, I’ll get it sorted out.  In the meantime you can always “search” or click on one of the “tags” to the right to get to the stuff you want to be reading.

Thanks gang!

I once gave a dude my underpants in a grocery store

Before I met the hubs, I was on my way to work early one morning, and stopped by the grocery store to grab some sushi for lunch.  I noticed a pretty good looking dude at the sushi counter and smiled just to be friendly.  He smiled back and said “hi.”

“So, I need to ask you a favor,” he said.

I was in a rush, but figured I could spare a few seconds to listen.  Besides, he was cute.

“God, this is so embarrassing.  Uh, so, it’s my best friends bachelor party today and well, we’re starting kind of early…” he stammered, suddenly unable to look me in the eye.

Bachelor party?  I thought.  It was 8 o’clock in the freaking morning.  Early indeed.  But I just laughed.

“Oh geez.  Ok, what do you need me to do?”

“Excuse me?!” he exclaimed.  Clearly surprised that I knew the drill.

“Look dude, all of my friends are guys.  I’ve been the wingman at more than one bachelor party, I know how the drill works.  As long as you don’t want my undies, I’m in.  Just spit it out, I need to get to work.”  With that, his face started flaming about fifteen shades of red.

Well shit.

“You need my under ware don’t you?”

He just nodded.  He couldn’t even bring himself to say the words.

“Yeah sorry, no way man.  Good luck,” I said, and turned to leave the store.

“Wait!  Please wait.  Look, if I don’t do this I have to go back to the car and take a Jaegerbomb.  It’s 8 o’clock in the morning.  I’ll be puking by noon.  I’ll never work up the balls to ask another girl to do this.  Please don’t make me be that guy.”

And to this day I will never EVER know why, but right there in the middle of the grocery store I whipped my underpants off under my skirt, handed them to him, and walked away.

I guess I too really, really hate Jaeger.

October Birchbox Review

October Birchbox Getting stuff in the mail is about the coolest thing ever, and honestly, it’s one of the reasons I started subscribing to Birchbox a year ago.  Sorry I’ve been lazy so far and haven’t done any reviews, but starting with October I’ll be sharing my box with you, my readers.

If you’re not familiar with Birchbox, here’s the skinny.  It’s a monthly beauty subscription box that’s $10 for ladies and $25 for dudes that comes stocked with five samples based on your beauty profile.  The profile is pretty in depth, asking you about your skin type, skin care routine, make up preferences, hair type and style, as well as your style preferences.

In my case, every month I get at least one thing that I completely love.  Several times I’ve received full sized products valued at $20 or more in my box making it more than worth the money for me.

And this month, I totally discovered a new favorite thing.  So without further ado, here’s this month’s unboxing!


Jouer Matte Moisture Tint

The oil-free tint with an SPF 15 went on smooth and pretty, and was a great match to my skin tone.  I applied mine over my normal SPF 30 moisturizer, because I live in Florida and am outside all the darn time.  What I really liked about this product was the matte finish.  I actually opted against using any powder over top as it left my skin with just enough coverage and without any greasy shine.  Good stuff.  But, at $38 for the full size (or $49 for the set pictured above), it’s a bit pricey for my liking.

Miracle Skin Transformer Miracle Mud

miracle skin

I’m really really picky about the way a product smells, especially if it’s going on my face.  This one, for me, was over before it started because it was stinky stuff.  There was no way I was going to be able to stand to have it on my face for 10 minutes.  $38 for a jar of poo? No thanks, I don’t care what it does to my skin.

ModelCo Power Lash Long Wear Mascara

modelco mascara


My eyelashes are pretty tiny, so I’m always looking for a great mascara.  While I loved the wand on this sample, I didn’t much like the formula.  It was super thick, and in the time it took me to apply one coat it began getting really clumpy.  After a second coat my lashes were thick, but to the point of looking more like tarantula legs and less like fat sexy bitches.  While the formula did last all night without any smudging and only a tiny bit of flaking, it was difficult enough to apply that I tossed this after one use.  At $20 for a full size, I’ll stick with my normal brand.

Essential Elements Wake Up Rosemary Shower Gel



Holy mother of God this stuff smelled strong enough to tranq a horse.  If you could get past the overwhelming herbal fragrance that smelled like a combo day spa/anapestic wash, the texture was super smooth and it worked into a decent lather.  Like I said, I’m really picky about scent so this was too overpowering for me, but if you’re into spa quality body care it’s a nice choice at $19 for the full size.

Sage + fasten Onward Eau de Parfum 


If you like light, fruity, fun fragrances this baby is for you.  The sample I received was in a nice sized roller ball applicator, and I pretty much instantly fell in love.  It made me feel like I was breathing in sunshine, and I would wear it all summer long.  As a Birchbox exclusive you can only get it from them, but at only $50 for the full size, I’ll be buying this to wear next summer.

Vasanti Brighten Up! Enzymatic Face Rejuvenator 


I saved the best for last with this product.  I am seriously in LOVE!  I love a good face cleanser that exfoliates as it cleans, and my favorites leave my skin soft and bright.  This one fits every bill.  It has a mild scent and a really creamy texture.  The exfoliant in the product is microderm crystals, which give it a really amazingly fine gritty feeling that gives a deep clean while still being gentle on your skin.  After the first use I was hooked, and am swapping out my old cleanser for this one.  Even more impressive is the affordable $34 for a predicted four to six months of uses.  Love love love.  Winner winner chicken dinner.

Your turn readers!  Do you subscribe to Birchbox or another beauty box?  Do you love it?  Tell me about it or link me to your reviews below!

A Stand Up Paddleboarding Adventure

It’s not exactly a secret that I’m about as uncoordinated as an octopus on dry land, but I’ve really really really wanted to try Stand Up Paddleboarding (or SUP as the cool kids call it) forever.

Yes, I realize that it requires balance AND coordination.  And if you bugger it up you’re totally getting wet.  That’s probably part of the reason why it’s taken me over a year of saying I want to do it before I actually grew the balls to give it a go.

Being my birth-week and all I decided there was no better time to try a new adventure, and picked a day to go.  Of course, I posted it on Facebook and was lucky enough to have a friend who wanted to come with to give me both accountability to actually follow through, and someone to hang out with.

Living only a few miles away from some of the most beautiful beaches in the world meant we had a lot of options to choose from.  We ended up renting our boards from Siesta Key Paddleboards because of a really great deal on Groupon.  We got a mini “lesson” and 4 hours of rental for $32.  Even better, the company transports the boards for us so we simply had to meet at a beautiful quiet little cove at 9:30 in the morning to be on our way.



The day was pretty much perfect aside from it being a bit cool for Florida (high 60s) and windy when we first set out.  However, the sun was bright and hot and the water was warm and it ended up being absolutely perfect.

As far as paddle boarding goes, here’s the skinny:

  • Holy crap it’s fun!
  • It’s actually pretty darn easy to balance.  I started out on my knees until I got comfortable, but within the first 10 minutes or so I attempted to stand up and was successful.  I didn’t lose my balance or end up in the water once.
  • Whatever you do, don’t look down at your board.  Keeping your eyes focused on the horizon is important to keeping your balance.
  • It’s a decent workout!  Our little group went at an easy pace, but in order to balance you activate your core muscles, and the paddling itself is a great little workout for your shoulders, arms and back.  At once point I was actually grateful for the wind because I was getting a little sweaty.
Look at me all standing up and stuff!
Look at me all standing up and stuff!

All in all it was an amazing day on the water, and something I would totally do again soon. If you’ve never tried it I highly recommend giving it a go!  Based on Siesta Key Paddleboard’s recommendation we took a scenic trip through the mangroves to a private beach called Midnight Pass and back to our starting point twice, and took a break in the middle for lunch and rehydration.

Probably the biggest tip I have is to be sure to put sunscreen on the top of your feet!  I missed that step, and wowie am I paying for it!

Have you ever gone SUP?  What was your experience like?  And how jealous are you of our amazing Florida “fall” weather?

My Birthday at The Ritz

Good morning friends!  Oh, what do you mean it’s 12:30 in the afternoon?  Well, it’s morning for me since I’m just now scraping myself out of bed.  See yesterday was my birthday and hubs decided to go all out in the spoiling me department, which was awesome and made for a very late night.

Because I want to remember every detail pretty forever and ever, and because I know you’re all dying to live vicariously through me, check out my birthday in pictures!

bday sign with champagne

We had a 7:30 reservation at The Ritz Carlton Sarasota.  It was an absolutely beautiful night out there, so when we arrived we were seated a a romantic table for two with a view of the water and this nifty little birthday sign.  I figured they were trying to tell me something so I promptly ordered a glass of Champagne.  Might as well start the evening off right, eh?

bday pic of me with sign

The menu had me absolutely drooling over pretty much everything on it, so hubs suggested we order a few things and share them so that we could have a bite of everything that sounded good.

bday menu

They started us off with fresh out of the oven home made “brown bread,” just like what hubs grandma used to make.  Yum!

bday brown bread

In addition to the amazing food, Jack Dusty is also a craft cocktail bar.  This means super yummy drinks that are totally different than what you would find at your standard TGI Fridays.  One look at the menu and the “Siren” was calling my name.

bday siren

Not only was the drink tasty, it was BEAUTIFUL!  It started with a very lemon-y flavor, but as the flavor infused ice cubes melted it became sweeter and infused with the different fruit flavors that had been contained in the cubes.  How awesome is that?

bday siren drink

Being a whiskey drinker hubs wanted to give the “Smoking Jacket” a try.  The presentation of this drink was so so cool.  It came out with the glass over a bed of warm applewood chips effectively “smoking” the glass before the large hand carved chunk of ice was added and the tasty cinnamon-y whiskey poured over the top.  Yum!

bday smoking jacket presentation  bday smoking jacket





For food we sampled the Pear and Blue salad, the Lobster Bisque and the Calamari, all of which were delicious.  The salad was fresh and crisp with enough large slices of pear and cheese to have my taste buds happy.  The bisque had a coconut cream base, giving it an absolutely delicious sweet twist.  The calamari where seasoned and breaded to perfection, and we so fresh they practically melted on our tongues.

bday salad  bday bisque

When it was time to order the entree we were both already really starting to fill up, so we opted for the Beef Short Ribs and asked to split the entree.  These were absolutely amazing.  Served over a bed of real mashed potatoes (that were still a little chunky, I LOVE that) and with a sautéed veggie medley of brussels sprouts, golden beets and carrots, it was the perfect entree to compliment our selections for the evening.

bday entree

As we were winding down from our meal and considering our after dinner drinks (Taylor Tawny 40 year Port?  Yes please!) our server brought us a special dessert sampler hand made by the pastry chef.  Apparently they take your birthday pretty serious at The Ritz.  The sampler included bites of Red Velvet Cake, a Gourmet S’more, a doughnut hole, Fried Peanutbutter and Jelly, and a shooter of Key Lime Pie.  By this time I was so full I couldn’t imagine eating another bite, so I just had one taste of everything.  It is my birthday after all.

bday dessert

After all of that, hubs pretty much had to roll me out the front door and take me home to tuck me in.  What a memorable and fantastic night.

Does any body else have a birthday coming up?  Any special plans?

*GASP* A Progress Picture

I’ve blogged about progress pics before.  If you’re too lazy to click the link (which I know most of you are because my analytics tell me so) the gist of it is, posting the “before” picture literally gives me a panic attack.  Like a palms sweating feel-like-I-might-burst-into-tears panic attack.

I don’t want to think about what I looked like before I started.  And like I posted this weekend, I really really really don’t want to consider the possibility that I will end up back there any time soon.

But ya’ll I’ve got to tell you, I am so so proud of myself here lately.  I posted a pic of me flexing at the gym yesterday to Facebook and got an overwhelmingly supportive response from my friends.  The best compliment was from a friend I haven’t seen in a long time who told me that I’m the fittest he’s ever seen me.  Since the last time he saw me was about two weeks before I raced a HALF IRONMAN, that’s saying something kittens.

So to keep with my mantra of overcoming my plethora of fears, I’m saying eff it.  Without further ado, here is my progress to date.

progress pic October 2014

The picture on the left was taken right after I completed a 62 mile charity bike ride back in March, and the pic on the right was taken on Sunday.  It was leg day, but I couldn’t resist taking a flexing selfie because dem guns doe.

I remember when the pic on the left was posted to Facebook I almost cried.  That was the start of a big turning point for me when I realized something had to give.  I was riding 4-5 days per week, doing Crossfit 5x per week, and was still busting out of my size 14 jeans.  The fact was, I was sabotaging all of my success with a shitty diet and bad drinking habits.

I started slow in March, and really ramped up my efforts after a work conference in June that I had to buy a new suit in a size 16 in order to attend.  I had never been that large, and didn’t want to be again.

Today, I am SO PROUD not only of the weight I’ve lost, but of the muscle I’ve put on.  Obviously, it’s a journey.  I’m not done yet, but I can’t hide behind my fear of failure to the point I don’t celebrate my successes either.

So there you have it readers.  Feel free to tell me I look fabulous.  My ego loves you all already, so you might as well stroke it some more.

And if you’re feeling up to it, share your pics too!  Feel free to link to your blog in the comments, I want to cheer you on too. 🙂