Uh dude, it’s not your body

Lately I’ve had some of the strangest comments made to me.  Now sure, I’ve heard of shit like this happening to other women before, but I guess I was never fit enough that I fell into the category… until now.

Obviously, I’ve lost some weight.  I’m at 36 pounds and counting, and my body looks different.  Like really crazy there’s an entire oompah lumpa gone different.  I’m not “skinny” kids, not by any stretch of the imagination, but I’m getting smaller.  And it’s pretty common knowledge that I’m not done yet.

I have no idea what my “goal weight” is, but I am aiming for a goal aesthetic.  More than that, I have some performance goals I’m working towards.  And imagine that, getting faster and stronger also equates to getting physically leaner, and in my case, smaller.

So I’m trucking along.

But lately people, especially men, have found it not only appropriate but necessary to say things like:

Don’t put on too much more muscle, you’re going to start looking manly.

Or perhaps even more ridiculous and offensive:

Well whatever you do don’t lose so much weight that you lose your boobs (or sometimes your ass).

Husband, thank God, hasn’t said anything so idiotic.  I think he knows that I would smother him in his sleep.

But somehow, that makes it even WORSE.  These are random dude friends who somehow think that they have a right to not only make these types of comments on my body, but that I actually give a shit about what they think or how they feel about the way I look.


Sure, there’s a part of me that wants to be attractive to others.  But kittens, I’m not doing this for anyone else but me.  If I were, there would be no way I would be this successful.


17 thoughts on “Uh dude, it’s not your body

  1. It’s a grammar issue. We all shorten phrases . . . in this case the aforementioned men have shortened the grammatically correct phrase “It would please me if you would not lose any more weight, as I would find you less exciting to me if your ass gets smaller.”

    See, now when it’s not shortened, no guy is actually going to say that. You know, that whole smothering thang.

    Ima big fan of being healthy and feeling good about yourself beats trying to be attractive to other people. Especially strangers.

    That’s just my two cents, Eye candy😁

    1. All you had to do was call me eye candy and I’m gonna agree with you. 😀

      But yes, good point. I just don’t understand why anyone thinks I give a rip, ya know? Grrrrr.

  2. I know what you mean. I’m “honey” or “sweetheart” to about 39 different women. Go figure. Anyway, I was going to get mad about it the last time, like four days ago but I decided I had better things to do with my melon. I simply don’t want to be “angry guy” and my wife knows where my heart is so that hoo-ha lost its edge once I put it into perspective. I hope you don’t hold us all accountable for a couple of dopes.

    1. Nah, you’re not accountable for the douche-a-potomouses in the world, so no worries there. But strangely it’s not just dudes. Women as well feel the need to give their opinions. So so weird.

  3. You should refer those two to each other…because if you have boobs such that people “don’t want you to lose them” you will in no way look “manly”

    I find it amazing that people say these things and can’t see that it is both ridiculous and none of their business!

    1. Haha, that’s a really good point!

      I mean, at least people aren’t still asking me “when are you due” like they were when I was heavy… and decidedly NOT pregnant.

  4. hahaha I hear you. I like it when people say it like this:

    ‘You don’t want to get too muscly though’

    Ok, phew, thanks for telling me. I wasn’t sure what I wanted, i’m so glad you told me.

    hahahaha. people. So funny sometimes. Funny weird.

  5. Just brush off the comments. I have gotten so many! I’ve lost 91 pounds and just this summer I lost 25 for a bikini competition. I’m not the fittest, but I’m working on it. I have been told that lifting will make me manly, that bikini competitions are degrading, if I lose anymore weight that I’ll disappear. There are tons of backhanded compliments. Do you and bust your ass. This isn’t for anyone else. Not everyone is going to understand what you eat, how you workout or why you’re doing what you are; they don’t need to. Keep plugging along, you have someone cheering you on from Massachusetts 😘

    1. Congrats on your transformation! I know first hand how hard it is to lose just a little weight, and over 100 lbs is really something!

      For what it’s worth, I have SO MUCH respect for bikini competitors, and I find that to be both brave and badass.

      Thanks for cheering me on. I’m following you now so I can do the same!

  6. I get these comments from my mother. The same mother who swears she can control her sweat glands like a thermostat so she never sweats in public, only when she gets home. She tells me, “you’re lifting too much weight”; “you’ll get bulky” etc. I just laugh. In the Jefit community I’m in the top 1% in upper and lower body lifting for my age. I think that’s pretty badass and I’m not going to stop. I’ve always had big boobs, so much so I needed a breast reduction 12 years ago and while I’d like to keep them I’ve pretty much given up hope they’ll be the E cup they are when I’m finished. Keep doing your thang. We’re watching…in a non-stalkerish way. 🙂

    1. People are SO weird. I just don’t understand why they feel the need to interject, especially when we’re seeing success.

      And you can’t stalk me. It’s ok. I’m totally stalkable.

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