Accidental Orgasm- the follow up story

It shocks me that to this day, I get at least 3-4 new visitors daily who find my blog through the keyword search “accidental orgasm.”  Apparently, it’s a bit more common than even I realized, though I have no idea if what they’re looking for is related to exercise.

Since posting that blog nearly a year ago now, I’ve learned a great many things.

First off, having an orgasm when exercising, specifically in women doing core work, isn’t completely uncommon.  After writing my initial accidental orgasm post, I had close to 15 different female readers reach out to me publicly and privately to say it happened to them. More than one even said it was during toes to bar!  Given that my readership base is around 500 or so on any given day, and the majority are female, some quick math tells us that roughly 3% of ladies could experience this phenomena (and be willing to admit it).

Man I wish I had their gift.  All toes to bar do to me is rip my hands and make my core ache so bad I feel like I might poop.  And while pooping is a relief, it’s not an orgasm.

In addition to that startling revelation, I’ve discovered that apparently I’m not the only one to cover this topic.  Muscle & Fitness published this brief read citing an actual study about women who have experienced an orgasm during exercise.  Apparently someone is seeking to put science behind this whole thing.

Mark my word kittens, there will be a “how to” manual out in the next few years.

Even armed with all this knowledge, I wasn’t at all prepared for what I witnessed yesterday at my friendly local globo gym.

I was doing my usual Tuesday thing, head down and headphones in, using the lat pull down machine that was situated right in front of the ab machine that sort of crunches your upper and lower body together in one motion.

As I finished my set and was standing to shake out my arms, the song I was listening to ended.  In the few seconds of silence between one song and another I heard sounds that really should only be made in bed, or MAYBE on the foam roller if you’re really getting after some sore quads coming from behind me.

I couldn’t resist.  I turned acting like I was going to grab some paper towel to wipe down my machine and came face to face with a dude, clearly nearing his grand finale, on the ab machine furiously crunching, sweating and moaning about 5 seconds away from a full on “O” face.

I should have left him to his accidental on purpose orgasm.

But it was like I was frozen.  I couldn’t look away.  I was about to witness scientific proof that not only does this happen, but it doesn’t *just* happen to females.

Unfortunately, he chose that exact moment to open his eyes, and the mood was lost.  He hastily jumped off the machine and damn near sprinted to the men’s locker room with an impossible to ignore bulge.

$10 says he went in the boys poop stall and finished the job.

Either way, I didn’t care.  I have new blog material.

So there you are kittens.  If you missed it, check out the original accidental orgasm post here, and if you’re brave enough let me know, has it ever happened to you?

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No really, I’m fine. Just an accidental orgasm.

Lately I keep reading about how toes to bar causes people to unexpectedly orgasm.

It’s a real thing, I swear.  Google it.

It seems it happens in both men and women, though in women it seems to be something they know is coming (see what I did there) while in men it’s usually extremely unexpected.

I totally believe it.  It’s one of those movements where there’s a lot of rubbing and pelvic floor action, and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen some accidental boners from it.

Julie Foucher doing toes to bar.  I'm pretty sure if I were a guy this pic alone would give me an accidental boner.
Julie Foucher doing toes to bar. I’m pretty sure if I were a guy this pic alone would give me an accidental boner.

So now I really really want to get toes to bar.

But at the same time, I’m terrified I’m going to be one of the people who has this superpower.

What if I can’t stop myself?  What if, three into a set I spontaneously combust and turn into a screamer?  I mean, not that anyone would notice anything strange there since I do make some weird noises when I exercise.

But, oh God, what if it’s so unexpected that I can’t prepare?  I can see it now:  I splooge and then lose my grip, fall off the bar, whap my head on the way down and end up with a concussion?

On second thought, maybe I don’t want to actually get toes to bar.

This Crossfit business is even riskier than I thought.