Hilarious gym antics part… I don’t even know… one thousand?

picking up girls

It’s been an pretty eventful week at the gym kittens.  So eventful that I was inspired to write this amazing post for my friends over at Boozey.

I don’t want to give away any of the details, and frankly I need some page views over at that site.  So click thru and read about when it’s “ok” to flirt with a girl at the gym… (basically it’s not, but you know I didn’t make it THAT simple.)

Enjoy!

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Has this ever happened to you?

So today at the gym I was doing “Renegade Rows” (aka satan and planks had a spawn child during a threesome with dumbbell rows and oh-god-I-think-I-might-die.)  On my third set the sweat was literally dripping down my face, and off the tip of my nose.

Despite the deep burring in my abs, quads, back, arms, legs, ears, and anything else attached to my body the sweat tickled.

I tried exhaling sharply to get it to fly off of there, but no luck.

So on my next rep I tried a sharp nose inhale.

This resulted in my snorting what felt like a freaking full cup of sweat up my schnoz, which caused me to break into this frantic sneezing fit.

I sneezed 8 times.  I also fell over, curled in the fetal position and broke out into the giggles between sneezes.

In the middle of the “man” section of the gym.

On the floor.

You’re welcome to everyone who just stood there and started at me.  For once I was the most entertaining person at the gym.

Accidental Orgasm- the follow up story

It shocks me that to this day, I get at least 3-4 new visitors daily who find my blog through the keyword search “accidental orgasm.”  Apparently, it’s a bit more common than even I realized, though I have no idea if what they’re looking for is related to exercise.

Since posting that blog nearly a year ago now, I’ve learned a great many things.

First off, having an orgasm when exercising, specifically in women doing core work, isn’t completely uncommon.  After writing my initial accidental orgasm post, I had close to 15 different female readers reach out to me publicly and privately to say it happened to them. More than one even said it was during toes to bar!  Given that my readership base is around 500 or so on any given day, and the majority are female, some quick math tells us that roughly 3% of ladies could experience this phenomena (and be willing to admit it).

Man I wish I had their gift.  All toes to bar do to me is rip my hands and make my core ache so bad I feel like I might poop.  And while pooping is a relief, it’s not an orgasm.

In addition to that startling revelation, I’ve discovered that apparently I’m not the only one to cover this topic.  Muscle & Fitness published this brief read citing an actual study about women who have experienced an orgasm during exercise.  Apparently someone is seeking to put science behind this whole thing.

Mark my word kittens, there will be a “how to” manual out in the next few years.

Even armed with all this knowledge, I wasn’t at all prepared for what I witnessed yesterday at my friendly local globo gym.

I was doing my usual Tuesday thing, head down and headphones in, using the lat pull down machine that was situated right in front of the ab machine that sort of crunches your upper and lower body together in one motion.

As I finished my set and was standing to shake out my arms, the song I was listening to ended.  In the few seconds of silence between one song and another I heard sounds that really should only be made in bed, or MAYBE on the foam roller if you’re really getting after some sore quads coming from behind me.

I couldn’t resist.  I turned acting like I was going to grab some paper towel to wipe down my machine and came face to face with a dude, clearly nearing his grand finale, on the ab machine furiously crunching, sweating and moaning about 5 seconds away from a full on “O” face.

I should have left him to his accidental on purpose orgasm.

But it was like I was frozen.  I couldn’t look away.  I was about to witness scientific proof that not only does this happen, but it doesn’t *just* happen to females.

Unfortunately, he chose that exact moment to open his eyes, and the mood was lost.  He hastily jumped off the machine and damn near sprinted to the men’s locker room with an impossible to ignore bulge.

$10 says he went in the boys poop stall and finished the job.

Either way, I didn’t care.  I have new blog material.

So there you are kittens.  If you missed it, check out the original accidental orgasm post here, and if you’re brave enough let me know, has it ever happened to you?