If you had three wishes, you wouldn’t wish for this crap

I’ve been preparing to dazzle you with my wits (eyes up boys) all day, and have only managed to crank out three random completely unconnected thoughts, none of which actually translate into a decent blog post on their own.

Rather than leave you wanting, I figure, why not?  I’ll post them as part of a Tuesday compilation.  I give you , my readers, your three thoughts for the day.

Magic Mike Sucked- and not even a fun exciting way

So I am one of like, 7 women in the entire continental US who didn’t see Magic Mike when it came out.  While I do think Channing Tatum has perfectly lickable abs (much like some of my fellow crossfitters), I didn’t feel the need to see the sweating and gyration on the big screen.

When the movie came out on DVD I just never could talk myself into paying the $5 to rent it, even though my curiosity had been piqued from a few friends comments.  Last night, while home alone since the hubs was working late, I was channel surfing and saw that it was playing on HBO.

Well hot diggity dog, here’s my chance.

Two hours later, I have only one comment about this film.  A serious drama about male strippers isn’t sexy, it’s squirmy.  There were scenes that were downright uncomfortable, not because I’m a prude, but because this movie just took itself too seriously.

Naked sweaty men?  Sure.  But I was more traumatized than turned on when it was all over.


I want to chop off all my hair- possibly with a meat cleaver

I have super long hair.  It’s curly, and sometimes it’s straight.  Just kind of depends on my mood and how much time I spent lifting heavy things overhead that day.  I love it, but at the same time, in Florida in the middle of summer in the 90 degree heat, I totally hate it.

I have a haircut scheduled tonight and I’ve gone back and forth with myself between wanting a trim or a freaking pixie cut.  I could be saintly.  I could donate it to charity and some little leukemia child somewhere could have a brand new afro all their own for Christmas.


The world might be ending- there are no avocados at the grocery store

I swear, I’m not making this up.

I went and did my usual grocery shopping routine on Sunday and they were plum out of avocados.  This was a pretty epic catastrophe as they are currently a daily staple for me, and I was down to my last half an avocado at the time.

I rationed it out, but as of this morning, I was out.  I popped by on the way into work only to discover, there wasn’t a single avocado to be had in the store AGAIN!  Not even the big yucky watery Florida ones.  Or the super green you won’t be able to eat them for a week ones.

Not one.

I even checked the canned foods isle kids just to see if there was hope.

I’m devastated.