It appears walruses can’t do pistols

“Natural athletes” kind of make me want to punch them directly in the taint.  How’s that for a jealous response?

As someone who has absolutely zero natural athletic ability at anything, there are times that my eye twitches so hard I feel like it might explode when someone brand new walks into the box, picks up a jump rope, and within seconds executes flawless double unders.

I’ve been doing this shit for almost TWO YEARS and I still can’t string them together.

Today, for the first time EVER in the entire time I’ve been at my box we did Pistols as a SWOD.  Like literally, ever.  Sure, there are some people who can do them, and once in awhile they will pop up in a WOD, but never before have we actually done them specifically  to do them.

So obviously, today was the first time many many people have ever attempted to do a pistol in class.

Since I’m really working on the whole overcoming my fears thing, I gave it a shot, and promptly fell on my ass.  After tweaking and scaling and wrapping myself up in every color band available to heave my giant walrus ass back up once I got down there, I was able to execute a few successfully on my left leg.  My right was a total bust.  I could get down there, and then fall to the floor.  Once I determined that was as far as I was going to get in this particular drill, I just tried to do it gracefully.

funny-walrus-ice-gravity-ocean

Luckily no one (other than the coach who was desperately trying to help me) was really paying attention to me because not one but TWO people who had NEVER done pistols before got them on their FIRST DAMN TRY.

It was super exciting of course, but holy crap am I jealous.

Maybe they will introduce nap time to Crossfit programming.  I bet I can Rx that shit on my first try.

**Ps, I totally had to google what the plural of Walrus is for this post title.  Walruses is so much fun to say.  Try it.  You will also think it can’t possibly be correct, but it IS!  You’re welcome.**

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L-bombs and F-bombs

Love

On Friday, it will be 10 official years since hubs and I dropped the first L-bombs on one another.

I’ll honestly never forget it.  We were laying in bed in my minuscule one bedroom apartment watching an episode of “Whose Line is it Anyway” on my 12″ tv/vcr combo that had come with me when I moved from college just a few months before.

Something on the tv made me laugh so hard I snorted.  And not cute dainty snort either.  We’re talking full nostril-hair-shaking-there-might-have-been-a-little-snot snort.

He looked over at me with this amazed look on his face and said, “Well fuck.”

Assuming something was wrong, or that I had inadvertently shot a snot rocket at him, I anxiously asked, “what happened?”

He replied, “yeah, I just realized that I love you.  Damn it.”

We had been playing the we’re-just-really-close-friends-who-sometimes-have-sex-but-have-no-interest-in-a-relationshp game for close to two months at that point, and I think we both had realized it was something a little more.

Kudos to him for having the balls to say it.  I sure as hell didn’t at first.

Fast forward to a little over 4 years later.  We were in Florida in my hometown for Christmas walking on a beach that I had played on as a kid.  Somehow the conversation turned to where I would want to get married, if we ever got around to it.  As it turned out, which he totally knew, if I had it my way I would get married in pretty much the exact spot we were in at the moment.

Imagine my surprise when he did the whole drop to one knee maneuver and asked me to marry him.

Need some help painting the beautiful picture?

Well, my response was “oh fuck?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Don’t you have bad knees?  What are you doing?  Fuck.  Seriously.  What the fuck?”

And you know how I know this man is perfect for me?  His response, “Well that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.  So is that a yes?”

Fucking right it was.

** Bonus points for anyone who gets the movie reference.** 🙂