What happened to the workouts?!


Hey loyal readers!

And because there are a butt load of you, HEY NEW READERS!  Welcome aboard!

As you’ve probably seen, I’m a Crossfit addict who also does tri-sports (swim, bike and run), as well as blogs about the hilarious and disgusting pretty regularly.

I know we’re still at the start of the year, so we’re all still focused on our resolutions, which probably mean fitness and weight loss goals.  Right?  Right.  Focused.  Yep.  That’s me.

I swear I’m still working out daily, and doing some pretty awesomesauce things in all areas of my training, but you may have noticed I’m no longer posting daily workout recaps or updates.

There’s a few reasons for this, but the main one is that people are douchebags.  Right after the first of the year, I was getting comments from new readers about how slow my times were, how light my weights were, or how boring my posts were.  Obviously, this isn’t really motivating.  But it also let me take a step back and look at the content of my blog.

I want to make you laugh, and provide great stories about things health, fitness, and alcohol related.  (Because they SO go together, right?)  I don’t ever want to be boring, so to that end, I’m keeping track of my fitness elsewhere for the moment.

That’s not to say you won’t get recaps of really great workouts.  Once the Crossfit Open starts I probably won’t be able to contain myself.

I’m going to do my best to bring fun fresh content to you regularly, and if there’s ever anything you want to hear or know or read more about, just ask!  Your feedback, likes, and comments are what keep me posting and loving this blog.

Just don’t be a douchebag.  This is a douche free zone.

11.25.2013 Workouts


Back at Crossfit for the 6 a.m. class.  Love those guys, and actually missed them.  Didn’t so much miss the walking up at the butt crack of dawn and the vomit inducing workouts… ok so maybe I missed that too.

Warm Up:  The usual stuff.  Coach did tease us that after the holiday’s we’ll be changing it up.  Fun.  I love when we stick new stuff in the warm up because I usually find a new weakness I didn’t even know I had.

SWOD:  Front Squat 3×8
1×10@ 33 for zombie squats to warm up
1×8 @ 53
1×8 @ 63
1×8 @ 73

This wasn’t too bad.  I likely could have added a bit more weight for that last set, but I still struggle with the pressure of the bar on my throat during front squats.  I really really don’t like choking myself.

WOD: Diane
Handstand Push Ups

5:06 @93 and regular push ups

This was both a PR in time (18 seconds) and weight (10 lbs) from the last time I did this WOD.  I am super proud of that.  Gotta love progress.

I also looked back to see what I had to say about the last time we did this benchmarck in August and was really surprised to see what I wrote.  Apparently, at the time 83 lbs and push ups unscaled intimated me!  Today I didn’t even bat an eye about the push ups, and loaded my bar with 83 right off the bat.  With a little encouragement from a class mate I added more, and easily managed the weight.

Progress is really an awesome feeling.


Post-Crossfit swim.  Honestly, I really REALLY wasn’t feeling it today at all, so I just hopped in and swam 1500 straight.  About half way thru a guy jumped in and raced me.  I won.

I have no idea if he knows we were racing or not.

1500m in about 35 mins


11 miles at a 15ish pace with the crew.  The 22 mph winds were really a nice touch.  Ok, not really.  They really blew.  Heh heh. See what I did there?

Weekly Workout Plan

As you might recall, I had a bit of a rough start to my week last week.   But once I bitch slapped myself back into reality, and wrote out my confessions and made a plan, I went out there and got it done.

Last week ended up being a really strong week for my tri training.  Granted, I didn’t set foot in the box, but I’m proud that I snapped out of it and didn’t wait until Monday to “start over.”

This week being a holiday is a short week at work for me.  I’m also traveling to St. Louis to hang with the in-laws for Thanksgiving AND flying home in time to go to the Florida/Florida State game on Saturday!  (Whoo hoo ‘Noles!!!)

Obviously, all that travel could sabotage my training, so building on my lessons learned last week I’m making a plan to ensure I get it done.  It looks like no matter how I slice it I’m going to be short a swim this week, but of all the sports that makes me the least amount of squirmy.  I’m already physically capable of covering the distance I will race, though I would like to do it much faster than I am at the moment!

As always, feel free to hold me accountable, because lord knows I need it.

Monday 11/25
Crossfit AM- Done
Swim AM- Done
Ride- Lunch, 10 miles with group

Tuesday 11/26
Crossfit AM
Swim AM- 1500m
Ride- Lunch, 10 miles solo

Wednesday 11/27
Travel day, off

Thursday 11/28
Run AM- 3 miles
Bike AM- 30 minutes (stationary at the hotel… yuck)

Friday 11/29 (travel)
Run AM- 3 miles/ Travel WOD
OR Crossfit AM- drop in on a box

Saturday 11/30
FSU Game- Off

Sunday 12/1
Bike AM- 25 miles

So what about you, readers?  How are you fitting fitness into the holiday this week?  How do you stay active when you travel?

I need a plan

I woke up this morning and wished the hubs a happy hump day.  Doh.  Clearly, I have no idea what day it is, and while I love being closer to the weekend, I can’t believe this much of the week is gone already.

Last Thursday was the last time I did a planned workout.

I’ve skipped everything on my training calendar since then.

Do I have a hundred excuses?  Yup.  Are a few of them actually pretty good?  Of course.

But the fact remains that as of today it has been 1 week since I’ve done anything to help me reach my goals.

And since you all know me, you realize this also means I’ve been eating and drinking too much and have just generally been a hot mess.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about Crossfit and felt like such a fake.  Last time I went I PRed my clean and jerk, and haven’t set foot in the box since.

Thanksgiving is in one week.  Christmas just over a month.  Vegas right after that.

Not to mention I’m doing a freaking TRIATHLON in around 5 months.

I don’t have the time to skip training, and good excuses or not, I need to find a way.

This morning I woke up and my first thought was, “I don’t need more excuses, I need a plan.”

Part of me just wants to pick up the training that I was supposed to do this week starting with today, but because of the upcoming race I really do need to prioritize some workouts over others.

I need to get on the bike at least twice before Sunday, and one of those needs to be a long ride of at least 25 miles.  I need to run at least twice as well.  Swimming twice would be a good thing too.  I don’t want to ignore Crossfit, but with all of that to fit into 4 days, I’ve got my work cut out for me.

So for the sake of accountability, I give you my readers, my training schedule for the remainder of the week.  Feel free to check in with me, to keep me accountable, or to just cheer me on and I cross the workouts off the list.

Thursday 11/21
Lunch Ride- 10 miles @15-18 mph pace (group)
**Done- 10.3 miles @16.5 mph average by myself on tri bike
After Work- 2 mile run @ easy pace
**Done- on treadmill @13:30 pace

Friday 11/22
6 am- 1500+m swim
**Done- 2000 m in approx. 45 mins
7 am- 9 mile bike ride @ 14-15 mph pace (group)
**Done 9 miles @ 14 average pace

Saturday 11/23
AM- Long ride 25 miles @15-17 mph pace
**Done on the NEW BIKE at 15 mph pace exactly (1:40)
PM- 1500 swim
**Moved to Sunday- Done 1500 in about 35 mins, bricked with run

Sunday 11/24
AM-  3 mile run
**Done, right after run.  On the treadmill.  First mile really had trouble convincing my body that it actually wanted to run, but smooth sailing after that.  41:30

That looks like a lot, but really it’s not at all.  I need to just gently remind myself that it’s well within both my comfort zone and my abilities.  When I successfully complete this, while some damage will have been done from my week of laziness, I still will have logged some miles towards my tri training and won’t be in as bad of shape as I could if I let this lazy streak keep going.

I already have next week planned out, and will really need to stick to the plan as there is a holiday and travel in there.  Skipping a workout early in the week won’t help me one bit, and I will do my very best to hold myself accountable.

What about you?  Have you ever just not wanted to workout?  How long did it last?  How did you get yourself back into the swing of things?

11.14.2013 Workouts


Headed to the 5:30 p.m. class today as hubs is working late so there’s no need for me to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to get it done.

SWOD: Clean and Jerk 1 RM

YAY!  We NEVER do 1 RM of anything, so I was excited for this.  Previous best for a set of 3 was 73 lbs…

Warm up:
1×10 clean pass thrus @ 33
1×5 strict press @ 33
1×10 front squat @ 33

1×3@ 53
1×1 @ 63
1×1@ 83 (power clean) PR
1×1@93 (power clean and push jerk) PR

I was pretty darn happy with this.  My split jerk got ugly at 83 so I changed to a push jerk for the attempt at 93.  I also lost my squat at 83.  It’s amazing to me that I can power clean more than I can squat clean.  That’s totally backwards.  I also think I could have jerked 10 more lbs pretty easily (the 93 went up easy), but there’s no way I could have cleaned it.

I’m clearly damaged.  I should NOT be able to get more weight over head than I can clean.  Seems to me like I’ve got a lot of work to do on my technique, specifically how I catch in a squat, before I can improve this lift much more.

10 minute AMRAP
12 burpee broad jumps
12 OH walking lunges @ 25lbs
12 hollow rocks

Score: 2+20 Rx

YAY!  I love  when I’m actually able to go Rx.  Truthfully, I didn’t want to.  I had my eye on the 15 lbs plate but a few of the other awesome ladies in class gave me a push so I grabbed at 25.  Made for some hard ass walking lunges though.  Man.  I actually had my left leg give out on one causing my right knee to slam into the ground hard.  It’s funny, because as it was happening my first thought was “damn it my knee just came in!”  At least I realize when my form is compromised.

My score was stupidly low, but I kept moving.  That’s what’s important.


I had a planned lunch ride on the tri bike by myself, but with the 15-20 mph winds I really REALLY didn’t want to go.  They were coming out of the NE, meaning about 2/3 of my usual route would be into the wind and just god awful.

Rather than skip the ride, I improvised.  I mapped out a 2.5 mile route in the office park where I work, and rode it 4x.  granted, it was a bit boring, but because it was a small loop, it meant that I was never pedaling directly into the wind for more than a few minutes.

This ended up being a great plan.  The crosswinds were tricky, the headwind was pretty awful, but the tail wind was fantastic.  It went something like: Miserable miserable miserable, AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME for the whole duration of the ride.

In the end, I forgot to start my timer so I’m not sure how long it took. I would guesstimate about 40 minutes and 10.4 miles.  I was down on my aerobars the entire time except at the 2 stop signs each loop.

Done and done.

Guest Blog Post: New Runner’s Mistakes

running or rum

Hey guess what?  I got my running mojo back.  The foot and Achilles is healed and I am green lighted to start running again!  This is great news since pain isn’t really my thing, but triathlons are, so I’m back to hitting the pavement again.

I’m lucky to have a great resource here in the blog community, and since it’s been FOUR MONTHS since I last ran, I reached out to my girl Ashley over at http://www.chocolatemedals.com/ for some newbie advice.  She just KILLED a half marathon, and managed to train for it without getting injured, with maintaining a healthy balance, and with lots and lots of chocolate and pizza!

Check out her super informative info below on the top 5 mistakes new runners make, and how people like me can start a running plan and be successful!


Hello to all of Nicole’s friends and fans :).  My name is Ashley and I blog over at chocolatemedals.com, where I go on and on about my love for running, chocolate, healthy living, and pretty much anything sweet.

Funny enough Nicole’s blog was one of the first that I found when I started my own blog.  I instantly fell in love with her passion for a healthy lifestyle, specifically her focus on Cross Fit, something I have YET to try and am endlessly amazed by.

Admittedly, I’m no pro but have tackled a few missteps (pun intended) in my running journey to date.  Since I have no shame, I thought it might be fun to share some of these with Nicole and her readers in hopes that it keeps some of you from making the same mistakes!

So here in no particular order, are the New Runner’s Mistakes that I have been guilty of (and unfortunately know many others who have shared in my pain!)

Mistake 1:  Don’t have the proper gear: ESPECIALLY Shoes.

When I started running about a year and a half ago, I picked up an old pair of Puma’s from the bottom of my closet.  They were 3 or 4 years old, and probably weighed  2 lbs each.  This, my friends, was my first running mistake.

Running shoes aren’t cheap.  BUT they don’t have to be ridiculously expensive either and they are the best investment you will ever make.  Especially if you enjoy running AND having toenails.    After about 2 months, when I decided I kind of liked this running thing and wanted an ACTUAL pair of shoes, I went to one of those specialty stores that everybody talks about and met with the pros about  what shoes they recommended.  Best idea I ever had.  I never knew how miserable I had been running in those old Puma’s, and within a week of owning those shoes I went from running 3 miles to signing up for my first half.  It made THAT much of a difference.

Mistake 2:  You Don’t Fuel Properly

Ok so this one can go multiple ways.

One:  Have you ever heard of runner’s trots?  Well if you haven’t, they’re exactly what they sound like.  Think about this.  You go out to eat at your favorite Mexican restaurant (love me some Mexican food).  You demolish a thing of chips and salsa, AND your entire quesadilla.  Now try and run after, or even tomorrow morning.  It will NOT be pretty.  Make sure there are porta potties on your route for this one.

Put simply: Eat simply before a long run.  Think good balance of carbs and protein.

Second: If you’re training for DISTANCE, you need to fuel specifically for your long runs.  The general rule of thumb is anything over 60 minutes, you need to ingest carbohydrates and simple sugars for your body to burn.  Now I’ve tried many things: Gu’s, gels, blocks, candy, protein bars.  It really is trial and error for each person — that’s one of the great aspects of long training cycles.  You can test out different fuels, and figure out what your body likes.  Personally, I prefer real food. I’m all about bars and candy — but that’s me.

Mistake 3:  The 10% rule

Again, primarily for people training, but it really does pertain to ANYONE wanting to start a running regimen.  The 10% rule states that you up your mileage PER WEEK by NO MORE than 10% each week.  So think about it.  If you are training for a half, and you run 3 short runs per week with one long run per week, then you shouldn’t be upping your long run by any more than ONE MILE PER WEEK.  And for Fulls, I think the general rule is 2 miles per week, tops.

I’d say stick to this with shorter distance as well.  Running is high impact, and if you want to enjoy and continue running, you’ve gotta up the mileage slowly.  Otherwise you’re asking for a runner’s worst nightmare: Injury.  Been there. Done that.

Mistake 4:  You Go Out Too Fast

Just like with anything else, you’ve got to pace yourself with running.  This one is probably the hardest for me where I’m at in my own running currently.  This is especially important when you are trying to ADD mileage, whether it’s for a marathon or a 5k.  A lot of us are full of energy and excited when we go out, so we go out strong, only to BONK a quarter or half way through our run.

It’s important, especially while you’re training or trying to up mileage, that you conserve your energy for those later miles.  I’ve heard a lot of people actually say to plan to go out slower than your goal pace, and save your energy for the end.  It’s called “negative splits” in runner’s lingo:  your miles get quicker as you go.  That’s something a lot of runners go out trying to achieve — but it takes pacing yourself in the beginning, when it’s most important!

Mistake 5:  You Stress Out!

Really, running should be fun.  It’s a challenge for me every single time I go out, but I love it.  If you are wanting to try and get into running or racing, the most important thing I would remind you to do is remember why you started, and just enjoy the journey.  We all have bad runs, and we all have good runs.  And unfortunately they don’t come on schedule. . . but try and NEVER forget to enjoy the ride!  Because I’m telling you, that runner’s high is worth it every single time!

And that, my friends, are my 5 Common New Runner’s Mistakes.  Now lace up your shoes, and get out there. . . and tell me all about your run! 🙂

11.12.2013 Workouts


The alarm went off this morning and I turned it off, got right out of bed, and went straight to Crossfit.

At least, that’s what I dreamt that I did.  In fact, I turned it off and dozed back off for 15 minutes before I sat bolt upright in bed and realized I had fallen back to sleep.

I ended up 5 minutes late, and I hate being late SO much (pet peeve of mine) that I almost considered not going.  But once I was in the parking lot I didn’t have much of a choice.

Coach was actually pretty cool about it, no burpee punishment or anything like that.  The only thing I missed was the warm up lap.

Warm up:  The usual.  I did a minute on the airdyne and then jumped in with everyone else.

SWOD:  Jerk Technique
2×3 @ 33
3×3@ 53

The point of today was to really work on our split jerk technique.  Getting under the bar and being stable while we’re there.

This actually went really well for me.  I used to have a lot of issues getting low enough, but not so much anymore.  I do need to concentrate to get my feet wide enough when I split though, otherwise I get wobbly.

Coach let it slip that tomorrow are 1 RM clean and jerks.  We rarely do 1 RM anything, so I’m going to try to change around my schedule so that I can go in the morning.  I know I can clean 85, and I know I can get it overhead… I wonder if I can do more?

Push Ups
Toes to bar
Back Squat

Score: 11:24 @ k2e and 53 lbs

I really REALLY didn’t want to use weight on this workout.  My legs are already a bit sore this week, but after debating with myself up until about a minute before we started the WOD, I went ahead and added 10s to each side.

In hindsight I’m glad I did.   It was challenging, but not so much so that I struggled in a way I didn’t expect.  I know not every day will be a PR, and that it’s important to push myself, but I’m still working on understanding my body to know just how far I can push before things start getting cranky.


Again immediately following Crossfit I went to the gym for some quality time in the chlorine.

Apparently, they are having some issues with the sauna and it smelled like something literally DIED in there.  Honestly, every time I went to breathe it smelled and tasted like I was sucking on a moldy pee covered penny.  It wouldn’t surprise me if the “issue” they were having with the sauna was that someone peed in it.

Ew.  So gross.  People are so gross.

Anyway, the swim today was supposed to be an endurance workout.  And it technically was, though I couldn’t bring myself to actually stop swimming and breathe with my head above water for any significant amount of time so it ended up:

1x1500m in about 30 minutes

Yeah, no sets or anything.  Lame.

Here’s hoping they have that fixed tomorrow!


Not sure how my day is going to go today and I may not have time to update this but I wanted to log the run I have planned over lunch as I pinky promise I will do it.

It should come out to be around 1.7 miles in about 20-25 minutes.  The plan is to just run a quick lap around the business park where I work.  Since I’ve only recently started running again, I want to keep them sort and easy to get my body used to it.  Obviously, coming from zero mileage base at the moment, this means 2-3 miles at a time tops.

11.11.2013 Workouts


Full day of training for me today.  I was up when my alarm went off this morning but really had to fight myself to actually get out of bed and get to it.  I even went so far as to get up and pee, and then crawl back into bed with the hubs for a minute.  Once I realized there was no way I was going to fall back to sleep though, I got up.

In hindisight, I’m really glad I did.  I wasn’t at all excited about the origional WOD that was posted last night, but once I got to the box this morning it had changed to one of my favorite hero WOD’s. 

Warm Up:  The usual.  I biked instead of ran and I have no idea why.  Duh, foot feels better Nicole, it’s ok to run now.  I guess I wasn’t awake yet?

SWOD:  Front Rack Step Ups 3×8
1×10 each leg @ 33 “warm up”
2×8 each leg @ 33
1×8 each leg @ 43

Man I effing hate these.  I might actually hate these worse than wall balls.  I’m already klutzy, so lets put me in a position where I’m panting and gasping for air while at the same time choking myself and have me step up and down onto a box that I can’t actually look down and see while holding even more than my already elephanesque weight.

Yeah, that sounds like fun.

Whatever, I did them.  Didn’t fall either.

12 Deadlift
9 hang power clean
6 push press

Time: 11:42 @63 lbs

I went 10 lbs heavier than I did the last time I did this WOD and was glad that I did.  This is always a hard one, but lots of fun too.  And like all hero WOD’s, every time I wondered if I could get away with just not finishing, I pushed a little harder for this guy who gave his all.

Happy Veteran’s Day.


Right after CF I drove over to the gym with the pool for my swim workout for the day.  Frankly, I think wrestling my sweaty post-DT body into the bathing suit should count as a workout in and of itself.

At this point, I’m still just base building on the swim.  It had been some time since I had been in the water, so my workouts are structured as one for speed, one for endurance, and one for drills each week.

Today was speed.

300 warm up
+ 200 steady for a total set of 500 (still flushing some latic acid from the workout so kept the pace gradually building thru last 200)

2×500 with 50 sprint/50 recovery.  2 minutes rest between sets

Took about 40 minutes total.  Man I’ve become SO slow.


Lunch ride with work crew.  I brought the tri-bike today but didn’t ride down on the aerobars at all as it’s not safe to do in the paceline.  Not being able to be down on the bars makes for one uncomfortable ass ride, I’ll tell ya that.

Regardless, it was great.  Slight wind from the east so the way out was tough, but the tailwind was glorious and we had a great sprint as well.  A newer cyclist joined us today too and did so great!  It’s exciting to see someone learn and grow.  I wonder if the people who encouraged me to get back on my bike a year ago feel that way about me?

12 miles in around 48 minutes.  Good stuff.

1 part sloth, 2 parts Rich Froning?

It makes me angry that I’m not fit enough to do everything I want to do.  If I had unlimited energy and didn’t have to worry about my body recovering, I would Crossfit 5 days a week, and ride my bike at least 4.  I would train for a half marathon and put in 60+ miles a week running, and for good measure would also swim 3-4 times a week so that I could do a triathlon if the fancy ever struck me.

I would go paddle boarding every weekend, surfing at least once a month, and rock climbing whenever someone wanted to come with me.

Not sure when I would sleep or crap, but those are totally not fun so they don’t really matter.

I’m sure you can see my dilemma.  Clearly, I’m not Rich Froning, therefore this level of activity is a bit out of my league.

Though I should take a moment to say, if I woke up one day and WAS Rich Froning, I probably wouldn’t leave the house.  I would stare at myself shirtless in the mirror for hours, touching my abs and marveling at the fact I really could use them to wash clothes.  Just saying.


I was commenting about all this to the hubs last night (ok, so maybe I was whining), and he just started laughing at me.  I was a little miffed, but I had to know just what exactly he thought was so funny.

In the end, he was marveling that I was peeved that I can’t be MORE active.  We’ve known each other a long time, and “athletic” was never a word he would use to describe me.  But lately, lately it seems that I can’t get enough activity.  Every time I Crossfit, I talk about the next class or workout and how much I want to do XYZ.  Every time I ride I come home planning my next trip out because I have so much fun.

I’m stronger, faster and fitter than I’ve ever been before, and it makes me want more.

So much more that I get cranky when I can’t have it.

That’s a big change kids.  HUGE.  I used to only feel that way about sex and cupcakes.

So rather than crab about what I can’t do because I’m sore and tired and need rest, I’m going to try to focus on the mere fact that I want to do all of it.  Because that is one heck of an improvement.

“If you’re not puking, you’re not stopping.” Thanks Coach.

just do it

I’m a weirdo.

I realize that’s likely not news to any of you, but as someone who has known myself for nearly 30 years, it never ceases to amaze me when I realize something new and curious about myself.

I don’t like being yelled at.  At all.  I avoid confrontation at pretty much all costs, and most of the time I completely shut down if it turns into yelling.  I want communication.  I want conversation.  I want butterflies and puppy dogs and rainbows.

Unless I’m working out.

In that case, all the “you can do it’s” piss me right the hell off.  Leave me alone!  It’s possible I can’t do this.  I might not do it just to prove you wrong, bastards.  Ok, so maybe that’s not entirely true, but while the encouragement absolutely helps, it doesn’t give me any mental drive to do more or keep going.

I realized in the case of working out, specifically Crossfit, I respond significantly better to someone telling me to “harden the fuck up” and “stop feeling sorry for myself.”  Even if in the moment I feel like I might cry, or puke, or possibly die, it’s what I need to hear.

I want the hugs and high fives AFTER I’m done not dying.

I realized this today during the WOD-of-Death that almost made me projectile style toss my cookies.

What’s really strange is I think my coach realized it months ago.

Don’t get me wrong.  I appreciated every single person around me trying to help me battle through when all I wanted to do mentally and physically was quit.  If I could figure a way to bottle that support and motivation, I would be a bajillionaire.   Without that group I totally would have quit, skipped the few remaining reps and just not wrote my time on the board chalking it up to a bad day.  With them standing around me, I had to finish, so I did.

But among all the cheers and shouts and encouragement, what I actually HEARD and processed and USED was my coach yelling at me.  Not telling me I could do it, but telling me to get my ass to work.  To him, there was no question that I COULD do it, that part was a no brainer.  What I needed was someone helping me to do it faster and better than I thought I could.

In the moment, I didn’t believe him.  So I got angry.  Really angry.  And then, rather than punching him, because that’s not nice and I still don’t like conflict even when I’m angry, I finished the workout.

Sometimes people see you and understand you in ways you don’t see yourself.  It’s always interesting to me when I realize someone’s perception of me is different than my own, and theirs is actually correct.

So thanks cheering squad.  Please keep it up.  Especially if a few of you want to get shirtless next time.  What?  I’m just sayin’, it’s motivational.  Just please make sure someone is telling me to get out of my head and go after it as well.

I think… today anyway.

If you make me cry, I won’t hold it against you.